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Vandy! (September 1996)


Beer!  (February 2006)

Issue # 013

Date:  Saturday August 22nd, 1998  10:37 am

Mark George, the guy who wrote the hilarious Stone Cold satire several
issues ago, is back. I'm going to reprint his first letter, and then
his new one. Please remember; the first letter is a joke. its not
real. Mark is not an alcoholic, he doesn't beat children. its
satire, one big joke. Your responses indicated that most of you
really enjoyed his writing. For those of you who don't realize he was
kidding, please pay attention. its not real.

Now's its time for some tongue in cheek satire......
Submitted by reader: AttkDonkey (Mark George)
I am writing in response to your controversial topic about WWF and
their "Adult Image". Take it from me, WWF has ruined my life. I was
so wrapped up in wrestling and Steve Austin that I became obsessed in
the wrestling superstar lifestyle. After WWF Raw would conclude I
would be so wound up with adrenalin I would go into my child’s room and
stun him until he was no longer able to walk.
Austin made me his pal
through television. Watching him drink Steve Weisers made me crave
alcohol like never before.

Every Monday I would stop in for a 12 pack of beer and watch Raw until I was downright bombed. I would sit and rant and rave like a lunatic for 2 hours while throwing down beers like water. I'd perform moves on my family members, blare rock music until my neighbors complained, order my wife to remove her clothes like Sable, challenge neighbors to cage matches, call my dog a bitch since he resembles Ken Shamrock. Eventually, my mad behavior took its toll. I became an alcoholic, I lost my family, as well as my job. All because of WWF and wrestling.
Now we are happy to print Mark's follow up letter. If you disagree
with his views, he doesn't mind if you E-Mail him directly. Just
remember, this is satire. its not a personal attack on you:

Submitted by reader: Attkdonkey (Mark George)
I have received lots of responses regarding the satirical piece
written on the WWF and how its "Adult Image" ruined a man's life. The
reviews have been mixed. Most enjoyed the article and took it for
what it was worth (humor). Others, however, showed extreme negativity
towards it. Those who responded with extreme displeasure probably
relate to the person described in the newsletter and felt singled out.
So, I felt it was my duty to reach out and try and help those who
failed to understand.

Those who responded negatively fall into the class of "Joe Wrestling
Fan". See, Joe Wrestling Fan isn't a bad guy, he is just a man with a
lack of common sense, poor judgment and a lack of understanding about
wrestling and life in general. For example: Joe Wrestling Fan would
spend $100 to take in a wrestling event with his pals while his family
starves because there is no food in the house. Joe Wrestling Fan
would attend a venue with a goatee and shaved head resembling Steve
Austin, yet be wearing an Undertaker t-shirt. Joe Wrestling Fan
thinks Ultimate Warrior and Mongo have talent. Joe Wrestling Fan
actually believes Elizabeth and Eric Bischoff have a sexual
relationship. Joe Wrestling Fan would purchase an
Austin 3:16 foam
finger and give it to his 5 year old child. So when you see Joe
Wrestling Fan be courteous, help the jackass from his slumber, pat him
on the back and tell him " Hey Joe, your not half the bitch everyone
says you are".
The Wrestling Booking Sheet is pleased to print the comments/booking
plans of our readers. For the booking plans, please remember, these
are FANTASY plans. Things will NOT really happen this way on TV.
These are just creative ideas for what would be cool to see. I don't
personally agree or even like many of the articles and letters we
receive; still, some of the ones I really don't agree with provoke the
most debate.

Submitted by reader: FF8SquallX
Here are my thoughts on how the WWF could seriously spice up Summer
Slam and RAWS to come.

RAW is WAR (
The show opens up with all the usual pyro and commentary. Out of
nowhere HBK's music hits and he comes out to a standing ovation. Jim Ross gets into the ring for an interview with HBK. HBK talks about when he might return, his thoughts on the WWF, etc. He then pulls out a piece of paper and announces that he will be the special referee for the ladder IC Title match at SummerSlam, the Rock vs. Triple H.

D-Lo and the Rock come out to the ring. Rock takes the microphone and
offers HBK a spot in the Nation. Rock leaves the ring and Mankind
comes out for a Euro Title match. X-Pac comes out and makes it a
triple threat Eventaully, Mankind piledrives D-Lo on the outside
knocking him out. Mankind wraps up X-Pac in the Mandible Claw in the
ring. Rock is yelling at D-Lo that he is going to lose the Euro Title.
HBK comes out with a chair. Rock distracts the official and HBK
plasters Mankind with the chair. D-Lo gets into the ring and hits
X-pac with the Lo-Down and retains the Euro Title. Ross and Lawler
speculate whether HBK was out to help X-Pac or help D-Lo retain the

As the second hour begins, DX comes out. Triple H offers HBK a spot in
DX and calls for him to come out right now. After a minute, the Rock's
Nation Theme plays and only the Rock comes out. He says he is sick and
tired of Triple H and that HBK is Nation Material. He then states that
he will face Badd Ass in an IC Title Match later in the night.

Austin's music hits and he comes out to a huge ovation. He asks
himself why in the hell the Undertaker why driving the hearse and why
Kane was dressed like the Undertaker. Vince, Patterson and Brisco come
out and get booed. They hit the ring. Vince takes a mic and
speculates why. He yells, "God Dammit they are in kahoots! Only a son
of a bitch like you Austin would think otherwise!!!" McMahon backs
off as Austin approaches him. UT's Music hits and the lights go out
giving McMahon an opportunity to leave. UT cuts them off at the ramp
and has a mic. He says, "McMahon, enough of your garbage" he throws
down the mic and nods to Austin and Austin runs to take the three out.
Kane emerges from the crowd and clotheslines Austin down. UT stares at
the situation and leaves the area. Kane picks Austin up and Choke
Slams him down onto the steel ramp. He goes for the tombstone on the
ramp but Austin flips out and kick to the chest, Stunner. Austin gives
Kane the middle finger and runs backstage.

The Rock and Bad Ass come out for their IC Title Match. The match
starts and after about 10 minutes, Billy hits a Rocker Dropper and
gets a near fall. He then picks the Rock up and piledrives him down.
He gets the 2 and 1/2 count and Billy is stunned. The Rock is up and
scoops Billy up and drops him. He signals the Peoples Elbow and hits
it. He covers and gets a near fall. Rock is upset. Billy gets a head
of steam and goes to clothesline the Rock but he pulls the official in
front of him. Rock wraps up Billy and goes for the Rock Bottom. An
elbow by Billy. Billy with a kick, Piledriver. No ref to count. DX and
the Nation both hit the ring and a brawl ensues. Triple H manages to get
his hands on the Rock and delivers a Pedigree before the fight goes
backstage. Billy is still down after an Owen hart Sharpshooter. HBK
hits the ring with a steel chair. As Billy and the Rock get up, HBK looks to hit Rocky.  Rocky moves and HBK nails Billy. HBK mouths some curses and leaves the ringside area. Rock with a pickup and hits the Rock Bottom, covers and gets the win. Ross and Lawler are livid thinking HBK is in the nation.

Vince McMahon comes out at 10: 25. He announces that both the
Undertaker and Austin will be in action before the night ends. The Undertaker will meet Val Venis and Austin will meet Kane and Mankind in a Triple Threat Match for the WWF Title.

UT and Val both come to the ring. They lock up. No contest, UT hits a
Choke Slam and almost as quickly delivers a Tombstone and pins Val.

Austin Kane and Mankind are all in the ring for their match. After 20
minutes, at 11:01, Kane hits a Tombstone on Mankind and goes for the
pinfall. Austin is reeling from the effects of a Mankind Mandible Claw. Kane covers Mankind and UT comes to the ring. 1...2... and UT pulls Kane off of Mankind. They stare in the middle of the ring. Austin gets up, flips UT around. kick to the gut and Stunner. He pins Kane and retains the WWF Title. Mankind and Kane start attacking Austin as UT watches and smiles. RAW fades off at 11: 04 to that. Ross and lawler ask themselves why Austin had to face Kane and Mankind but UT faced Val

SummerSlam (August 30, 1998)
Rock and Triple H are both in the ring when HBK's Music Hits and he comes
out. The match starts and goes for for well over 25 minutes. At the 29  minute mark, Rocky hits a Rock Bottom onto the ladder to Triple H. Rock
starts climbing the ladder and reaches out for the IC Title. X-Pac
runs into the ring and pushes the Rock off the ladder. HBK yells at
X-Pac. X-Pac tells Shawn, "Hey its me! Sean!" HBK shakes hands with
X-Pac. The crowd goes nuts. HBK flips around and nails X-Pac with
Sweet Chin Music. Triple H is back up and he starts yelling at HBK. Rock is
also yelling at HBK to disqualify Triple H. HBK goes to punch them both but
they both hug HBK. Rock climbs the ladder as Triple H watches and
retains the IC Title. All members of DX and the Nation are asking
themselves what happened. HBK announces the formation of the Klique,
Triple H, Rocky and HBK. DX and the Nation both need new leaders. They are
confused and begin brawling as HBK, Rocky, and Triple H laugh.

The Outlaws vs. Kane and Mankind for the Tag Titles in a cage. Both
teams enter the ring and beat the hell out of each other. Eventually,
Billy hits Mankind with a piledriver. Kane climbs to the top of the
cage trying to get out to retain the titles. Roaddog and Billy climb
and catch him at the top. They nail Kane with a double suplex off the
top of the cage and climb up and win the tag Titles. Mankind climbs to
the top of the cage as Kane is still out and yells at the Outlaws.
Kane is now up and frustrated. He shakes the cage and Mankind falls
off. Kane goes to leave the ring when Mankind put Kane in the Mandible
Claw. Kane goes down hard. Mankind to the top of the cage and he does
the Dude Love thing with his legs. He elbows Kane off the top like he
did to Triple H last year.

Austin and UT are both in the ring. Match goes on until the 40 minute
mark when Austin gets a poke in the eye from UT. Austin stumbles
around and kicks the ref in the chest and nails the Stunner. The ref
is out and Austin covers him. Kane enters the ring with a steel chair
and hits Austin with it. Kane picks Austin up as UT watches and
Tombstones him onto the chair. Dude Love, not Mankind but Dude Love
enters the ring and hits Kane with the Mandible Claw. UT watches his
little brother go down. UT picks up the chair and hits Dude. He then
hits Kane. UT picks up Austin and drops him with the Tombstone. He
covers and gets the 3 and becomes the new WWF Champion.

RAW is WAR (August 31, 1998)
RAW opens up with Austin coming out. He says he was cheated out of the
titles just like he was cheated out of the title at the King of the
Ring. He calls UT out and challenges him to a World Title Match. UT
accepts. Vince comes to the ring and announces that Kane will compete
as well in a Triple Threat Match for the WWF Title in the Main Event.

The Klique comes out to new kickass music by the Chris Warren band (DX
Theme Band). They talk about how DX and the Nation tired both of them and how when HBK made the offer they could not refuse. Jim Ross announces that later that night, the Rock and Triple H will meet the two new leaders of DX and the Nation.

The Nation without the Rock comes out and asks why Rocky why. Rocky is
over as a major heel now. Kama Mustafa announces the new leader of the Nation, Sid! Sid gets a huge huge pop from he fans and does an interview and says that he and whoever the DX Leader is must co-exist and beat up on the Kilque.

DX without Triple H comes out and talks about the problems that DX had
been having. Roaddog is going to announce the new leader of DX when Billy tells them to let the crowd wait.

Val Venis comes out to meet D-Lo in a Euro Title Match. Match goes on,
and D-Lo hits the Sky High and gets a 2 3/4 count. Val hits a fishermens suplex and gets the 2 and 3/4. Val climbs the ropes and hits the Money Shot and wins the Euro Title. Taka comes out and nails Val with the Michinoku Driver onto the Euro Belt. Kaienti comes out and Taka challenges X-Pac. X-Pac on the TitanTron accepts.

Taka and X-Pac come out for a LightWeight Title match. X-Pac hits the
front face slam to win the LightWeight Title. After the match, Taka
hits X-Pac with the Michinoku Driver. he calls for Kaientai to come out
but no one does. The TitanTron shows Kaientai all out in their locker
room. A pool stick lies over Mens Teoih.

UT comes out and says that even though neither Austin or Kane deserves
a shot at his title, he will fight anyway to prove that he should be the Champion.

Rocky and Triple H come out to the new music. Sid’s music hits and he comes
out. The crowd eagerly awaits the arrival of DX's new leader. DX Music hits and stops. Then, the familiar guitar starts playing. The crowd goes insane and Sandman walks out. "Enter Sandman" blares throughout the arena. Sandman has the pool stick in his hand and midway to the ring he drinks a Bud and shakes it up and hits it against his head and
throws it into the crowd. He hits the ring and the match starts. 10
minutes in, Sid hits the Powerbomb on Triple H and then on Rocky. Sid runs
to hit HBK off the ring apron and hits the ref. HBk gets into the ring
and Sweet Chins Sid. Sandman runs into the ring with the pool stick
and jabs HBK with it. He hits HBK with a DDT. Rocky comes from behind
and wraps Sandman up and hits Rock Bottom. Sandman kicks out. Sid goes
to Triple H and knocks him out of the ring. The ref goes to see Triple
H and Sandman hits a reverse Russian LegSweep so Rockys neck hurts the
pool stick. Sandman pins Rocky and Sid and Sandman win. The Nation and
DX decide they must co-exist to eliminate the Klique.

Austin Kane and UT are all in the ring for the World Title Match.
Eventually, Austin hits the Stunner on the Undertaker. He goes for the cover and gets the 1...2....three but Kane pulls Austin off. Kane choke Slams Austin.  Kane throws Austin to the outside. Sid grabs Austin on the outside and hits the Powerbomb. Sid tosses Austin back into the ring. Kane and UT are both down after a double clothesline. Whoever covers Austin will be Champion. UT gets up first and covers Austin.
1.....................2.....................3! UT still Champion!

Vince comes into the ring and announces that at the next PPV,
Undertaker will defend the Title against Kane, Austin, and Sid in a
Final Four Match. RAW goes off the air to all 4 men brawling.

The staff of The Wrestling Booking Sheet
Editor: Steve Appy
Columnist: Mark George
Columnist: SamJerry
Columnist: Fritz Capp
Columnist: Rick Phelps
Columnist: Cindy Barnes
Columnist: Josh Hewitt
Columnist: Swami
Columnist: Tom Misnik
Columnist: Nate Pelley
Columnist: Robert Troy (Osiris)
Tom Kirkbride
Columnist: Ryan S. Oaks
Darren Kramer

Any submissions sent in by readers or columnists become the property
of The Wrestling Booking Sheet, and are subject to editing due to
grammar, spelling, or content. Any information taken from The
Wrestling Booking Sheet must be credited properly, with our E-Mail
address listed.

Copyright- Steve Appy of The Wrestling Booking Sheet ©1998, 1999, 2000

Copyright© 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005. 2006, 2007, 2008 Clooney's Pub Softball
All Rights Reserved.

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