Issue # 072

Date:  Friday November 20th, 1998  2:59 pm

The Wrestling Booking Sheet

ROUNDING THE SQUARED CIRCLE
BY SAMJERRY

"IF THE GODFATHER WERE PRESIDENT"

1. There would be two cars in every garage and a Ho in every bed.

2. His official residence would be The Mustang Ranch, instead of The
White House.

3. Soldiers would wear big purple felt hats with a green feather
instead of helmets, and Cadillacs would replace tanks.

4. Val Venis would be the Secretary of the Interior.

5. He would settle the NBA strike by offering the players a choice of
a Ho, or getting their @$$es kicked.

6. New best selling dolls would be Ho Barbie and Pimp Ken.

7. "PIMPIN' AIN'T EASY" would replace "IN GOD WE TRUST" on all money.

8. Jenna Jameson would be his First Lady ... Of The Night.

9. Microsoft's next major update would be Windows 69.

10. Disney's next big movie would be "Sleeping Booty."

11. "Make Love, Not War" would take on a whole new meaning.
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The following message is from Chris Candido & Tammy Sytch, posted on
their message board at AOL Keyword Sport Guy

”To set everyone straight we missed the Japan tour do to family
problems.  My (Chris') grandmother is in the hospital on life support.
Tammy and I have been spending all of our time there with my family.
They only let 3 people stay the night, so we are home and I got online
to take my mind off things. To address some comments on the board, I
am 26 years old. How that became an argument I don’t know.

You all are entitled to your opinion of my work in the ring and as assistant booker, but I will defend myself. "Working" is an art form, throwing spots together, especially high-risk stuff and not selling it, is not being an artist. I don't think I've mastered it, but I know I am
alot closer than many of your favorites who just work for the "pop".
It is a reaction as a whole we try to achieve. Not to insult anyone’s
intelligence, but its hard to explain if your not a worker already.

I don’t just do basic moves, but I do the "high risk" stuff when it
makes sense. But if you are a fan of the constant high spot, don't
sell anything, lets just get a pop guys, that’s fine, as long as you
keep watching. I feel that Paul and myself do a good job of booking
with what we have to work with. When Paul had RVD doing the WWF
gimmick I pushed to make him a babyface. Even though we have had our
differences I pushed to make Rob our top babyface, and heir apparent
to the world title. I know I have alot to learn, keep your criticism
coming.

On another subject, we both did talk to WCW when we QUIT the WWF, but
Tammy wants to branch out into other things, and I wanted to try my
hand at developing my character and learn to book, plus truthfully, the
money isn't that different, its actually more then the WWF paid, and
we have influence here. And the WWF didn't just want me to train
guys, that was just until my neck healed.

To speak for Tammy, she QUIT the WWF the day she appeared on Heatwave PPV, not due to jealousy of Sable, but the offer from Paul to work, and do other things like fitness modeling (she has already been in quite a few bodybuilding mags.) outweigh working with LOD 2000. Plus she was getting my heat from an argument I had with Jim Ross, as I was the liaison between the two companies).

And the comments made by Ms. Mero posted in a recent interview regarding Tammy, were very professional, although she did hint that she believed the rumors of substance abuse. Why she didn't believe she was pregnant, in a car wreck or any of the other rumors I don’t know.

Tammy’s Team and Candido’s Crew are our original web sites. We are
personal friends with both Bambi & Brett. However, we are pleased
someone else wanted to do a page for us. This one and those two are
officially given our blessing. I'll talk about Bam Bam as soon as
this family ordeal is over. But basically, he is a 38 year old man,
with 2 kids and one very closely on the way. He did what he had to do
for his family. No bridges burned with Paul, and we are still best
friends as we have been for 15 years.

I forget what else I had to defend us on, but my mind wonders back to
my grandmother. Plus, I have the most beautiful girl in the world
asleep in my bed, so I'm gone for now. Thanks for your continued
support, and/or criticism.

Until, next time, born 3/21/72!!!!!!!!!!

------CC”
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The following is Chris Jericho's message to his fans, which can be found at: http://www.chrisjericho.com/

11/18/98
NP: Bride-Snakes In The Playground
Hello Jerichoholics!
Just a quick note, as I'm about to go on the road for the week.  We're
currently in the mid-west and after, we go to Detroit for WW3.  Should
be cold, which is what I like as I'm still 100% Canadian, eh!

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes and presents!  You guys are
really great!

I had a great time at the Lightning game, thanks to 98 Rock for use of
their corporate box.  I guess I've now officially sold out to the man!!!

The movie of the week is Mike Myers' So I Married An Axe Murderer.
Really ridiculous, with tons of great quotables!

One of the greatest powers of the internet is the ability to
communicate with people you'd never meet otherwise.  I've been in
contact with many musicians, which is cool 'cos that's what I'm in to.
Jon Dette (ex-Slayer), Ben Huggins (Galactic Cowboys), Michael Sweet
(ex-Stryper), Dale Thompson (Bride) and Frankie Bello (Anthrax) are
just a few of the guys I communicate with.  Gotta love cyberspace!

The plans are still in the works for the tour.  We're actually
starting to get some things down on paper, so that's a step forward.
Look to late summer '99, for the Jerichoholic Metal Nation to invade
your fair town!

Congrats to the Calgary Stampeders for making it to the Grey Cup!
Hopefully they'll bring it back to Cowtown.

Well God Bless you guys and be good to one another!
CJ
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FANTASY BOOKING- THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN
Reader Mailbag
Submitted by reader: ProbieMike

1 Week After the WWF Royal Rumble
Austin has won his 3rd Royal Rumble.
The Rock retained his World Title against Kane
Ken Shamrock retained his WWF IC Title against Mankind
X-Pac is still Euro Champ
NAO remain WWF World Tag Team Champions... and thus we begin

RAW is WAR 1
The Rock comes out complaining about the lack of worthy challengers
for the WWF title and says people are too busy trying to be just like
the Rock but none have come close. All of a sudden <Cued Up over PA
"You Smell what Wok cooking?">

 

Mitsuharu Misawa and Giant Baba come to the ring. For the past couple
weeks Misawa has been defending his Triple Crown as "The Wok". He
gets in the ring and Tells Rocky to "Know his eggroll and shut his
mouth" The Rock is irritated and demands a match against The Wok. It’s
scheduled for later that evening. In the same Show Dwayne Gill comes
out bragging about how his LW title reign has been so successful, and
acting heelish, tells the fans he could have done it without them, and
is absolutely unstoppable, at the same time he goes off on The Rock
saying he needs and deserves the WWF Title shot at the next IYH.

 

Gerald Brisco and Pat Patterson come to the ring on behalf of Mr.
McMahon and tell Dwayne Gill that he's as far as he's going to get in
this profession and to be happy with that. Gill snaps and attempts to
beat both Patterson and Brisco, but the odds are just too great and
he's defeated. Patterson and Brisco are seen later in the back saying
they want a match at IYH against The Headbangers, winner going to face
NAO AT WM 15.

Finally, at the Main Event The Wok and The Rock are fighting it out.
The Rock sets Misawa up for the Peoples elbow when over the PA
<Cock-a-doodle-doooo> And The Red Rooster appears on the scene! With
the ref distracted, The Rooster nails The Rock with a chair and it
sets up the "Peoples Forearm" followed by "The Stir Fry" Tiger Bomb
for the win.

Two RAW’s after
The Red Rooster comes out declaring he wished to be known as The Cock
from this point on and babbles on for a few minutes, then Austin
comes out and hits the ring saying he's sick of all the wanna-bees.

 

The Rooster says if Austin has something to prove that he needs to put
his Title Shot on the line at IYH which is now entitled "Wok Bottom".
Austin agrees and it’s booked. Later in the same show, Bam Bam Bigelow,
after jobbing at both Souled Out and the following Nitro to Bill
Goldberg, appears in the WWF and complains about not having a fair shake in the WWF or WCW. Then Lawrence Taylor comes out, and through sniffs and grunts, manages to tell Bam Bam that he wants another match with him at WM.  Its booked.

IYH "Wok Bottom"
Brisco and Patterson defeat Headbangers

 

The Cock defeats Steve Austin via countout when Austin chases after McMahon, and thus The Cock gets the shot at WM

 

Ken Shamrock retains IC title against Dan Severn
X-Pac remains Euro Champ

 

NAO defeat Too Hairy "Miguel Perez and Chewie"

 

The Rock defeates Misawa to gain his second WWF title

The Following RAW
LT and Bam Bam is booked for WM, and Bam Bam gets mad and legit
kills LT.  However the match is booked and Vince McMahon GUARENTEES
LT will fight at WM.

Meanwhile Terri Runnels is still looking for the father and she is
approached by Vince McMahon, who says the child can be the Corporate
Baby. Terri agrees until Paul Bearer comes out and says he is in fact the FATHER OF THE CHILD, and goes on to tell Terri how great she was in bed. Lights go out and Kane comes to the ring And Chokeslams Terri, who then miscarries the child.  Jim Ross then calls this the biggest "Miscarriage of Justice" he’s ever seen.

McMahon is upset that the corporate grandson has been killed and
orders Kane to take on Bossman at WM 15 in a special "Fetus on a Pole"
match where if Kane loses he’s banned from the WWF.

Raw is skipped the next week for the USA annual Westminster Cat Show.

The Raw before Wrestlemania

Brisco & Patterson call themselves Gump & Pump and say they'll be the next TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS OF THE WOOOOOORLD. Later on, Val Venis comes out and says he’s got the "Biggest Python in the WWF" and is approached by Jake Roberts.  Val then tells Roberts he hopes his snake can open wide and to look at the Titantron <TitanTron shows Cheryl Roberts giving Val a hummer>.  Jake kicks the living piss out of Venis and a match is scheduled for WM.

Later in the show Ken Shamrock is attacked by WCW reject "The
Leprachaun". who challenged Shamrock in a match for the IC title.
Shamrock agrees and it’s set for the Main Event.

Meanwhile, X-Pac is set to defend the Euro crown against Steve Regal.
Regal comes to the ring and then the Godfather comes out and offers
X-Pac 3 hoes for the Euro Title. X-Pac agrees and takes the hoes, than he gives all three of them Bronco Busters and takes off. Regal than feels the title is worthless and won't wrestle Godfather for it.

The Godfather challenges anybody and Bradshow comes out in a new persona as Tex-Pac.  X-Pac comes out at the end of the match, scratching and itching saying the hoes gave him syphilis. X-Pac
interrupts the match....

Shamrock then has his match against the Leprachuan, making him tap and
he's then given the Pot of Gold, from which emerges Goldust, who then
Kisses Shamrock and Curtain Calls him.

At the end of the show Austin comes out complaining about losing all
his title shots to people with "Ock" at the end of their names. McMahon
GUARENTEES Austin one of the "Ock's" at WM, and then says the Main
Event will NOW BE a TRIPLE THREAT match for WM Cock v Wok v Rock

WrestleMania XV Card
WWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE
The Rock v. The Wok v. The Cock

WWF Intercontenental Championship
Ken Shamrock v. Goldust

WWF Tag Team Championship
Gump and Pump v. New Age Outlaws

WWF European Championship
(Special Guest referee X-Pac, Special Time Keeper Steven Regal)
Tex-Pac v. The Godfather

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin v. ??????Ock
(Ock turns out to be Spock who beats Austin clean with the Vulcan Death Grip)

FETUS ON A POLE MATCH
Big Bossman v. Kane

Special Rematch from WM XI
Lawrence Taylor's Corpse v. Bam Bam Bigelow

Val Venis v Jake Roberts

Undertaker v Mankind (Hey, why not?)
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The staff of The Wrestling Booking Sheet
Editor: Steve Appy
Columnist: Mark George
Columnist: SamJerry
Columnist: Fritz Capp
Columnist: Rick Phelps
Columnist: Cindy Barnes
Columnist: Josh Hewitt
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