Issue # 083

Date:  Tuesday December 1st, 1998  3:39 pm

The Wrestling Booking Sheet

For those of you fans who do not know the Indy stars well, last night on Raw that was Donnie B (Super Nova's twin brother) who called Chyna a b**ch, and wrestler Inferno Kid was right behind him along with Twiggy Ramirez.
(Reported by Georgiann Makropoulos of http://1wrestling.com)

Columbia Pictures has finally made Bill Goldberg's involvement with UNIVERSAL SOLDIER 2 official. According to their press release he'll play "Romeo, a virtually indestructible Universal Soldier who proves a worthy adversary to Deveraux (Jean Claude Van Damme) as the hero attempts to thwart the team of deadly,
near-perfect warriors."

(Reported by Scoops of http://www.scoopscentral.com )
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ROUNDING THE SQUARED CIRCLE
RAW - NOVEMBER 30, 1998 - BALTIMORE, MD
BY - SAMJERRY
VISIT my Home Page: http://members.aol.com/~samjerry

The program began with clips reviewing The Undertaker hitting Stone Cold Steve Austin (SCSA) with a shovel, SCSA's collapse after a match, being admitted to a hospital, The Taker and Paul Bearer attacking him in his hospital room, taking him to a cemetery and trying to bury him alive, and finally attempting to embalm him alive, but being saved by Kane.

We saw The Taker and Fatso planning what they were going to do to SCSA and Kane tonight.

Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler were at the announcers desk.

The Headbangers, Mosh and Thrasher, along with The Insane Clown Posse (ICP), Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dopp came to the ring. We saw SCSA enter the Arena carrying a shovel. He headed straight for the ring, where he nailed Mosh, Thrasher and Violent J with Stunners. Shaggy was a little smarter and vacated the premises. SCSA said he isn't waiting for Rock Bottom, the next WWF PPV and his Buried Alive Match with The Taker, to get even. He is going to even the score tonight.

Lawler said a Ladder Match for the Hardcore Championship was on the card, with
The Big Bossman (BM) challenging Mankind, and Al Snow would meet The Rock.

We saw Mark Henry at home getting ready for his big date with Chyna. D'Lo Brown
was helping him. I would guess he wears a size 60 jacket.

We saw a shot of SCSA searching for The Taker.

The first match was a tag team event pitting The New Age Outlaws, Road Dog and
Bad @$$ v. Brood Members Gangel and Edge. Christian accompanied The Brood.
Doggie did his usual intro bit and the crowd was totally into it. Prior to the
match, we saw a clip from Heat last night of Emperor Vince trying to recruit the
NAO to Team Corporate. As the match got underway, Gangrel spit some of the red
stuff he carries in his Goblet into Bad @$$'s eyes. Edge showed some great high
risk moves, but when he attempted a Huricanrana on Bad @$$ off the top turn
buckle, Mr. @$$ reversed it into a major Power Bomb. Emperor Vince, Prince
Shane, Ken Shamrock, BM and The (Three) Stooges, Sgt. Slaughter, Pat Patterson
and Jerry Brisco, came out to watch the match. The crowd chanted "@$$hole," The
Emperor's new name.
When Mr. @$$ attempted a Pile Driver on Gangrel, Christian came in and nailed
him with one of the Tag Team Belts, causing a DQ. Shamrock and BM stormed in and
took The Brood apart, as The Stooges escorted The NAO back to try the recruiting
pitch again.

Winners By DQ - The New Age Outlaws and the Dry Cleaner who gets paid to take
that red stuff off of Gangrel's shirt.

We saw SCSA still looking for The Taker. When he went into a freezer to look,
The Taker appeared with Fatso and locked SCSA in.

We then saw Henry getting ready to leave on his dream date. He asked D'Lo, as
"the second best looking man in the WWF," to accompany him. After some urging,
D'Lo reluctantly agreed to go.

The Taker came to the ring and said he knows Kane is in the building. He then
said his Ministry Of Evil is growing and only two things stand in his way: SCSA,
who he said he has on ice until Buried Alive and Kane. He told Kane he wanted
him in the ring. Kane obliged and a brawl began. It was a non-sanctioned match,
without a referee. It didn't last long as The Taker hit a Tombstone Pile Driver.
He then called Fatso and six orderlies from the State Asylum to the ring. The
first two orderlies that arrived wished they hadn't as Kane planted them. He
then left thru the crowd. They had a straight jacket with them.

We next saw Loverboy at his limo. D'Lo said he wasn't dressed to go, but Henry
pulled a jacket out of the limo for him. As D'Lo admired his new treads, Henry
handed him a chauffeur's hat and asked him to drive. Again, D'Lo reluctantly
agreed.

Next we see Henry meeting Chyna in her hotel lobby. He was falling all over
himself, Chyna just wanted to get it over with.

X-Pac came to the ring to a big pop, as we saw a clip from last week of Shawn
"HKB" Michaels, the new WWF (Corporate) Commissioner, hitting him with a chair
during his WWF Title match v. The Rock. He called HBK out, saying he was "going
to kick your @$$ and wont need a chair." HBK came to the ring and warned X-Pac
that if he touched him, he would "send his @$$ to The Money Pit in Atlanta." HBK
said he wasn't an active wrestler, that he is The New Sheriff In Town, The WWF
Commissioner, and as such told X-Pac he would be meeting Shamrock later tonight
and his European Title would be on the line, but Shamrock's Intercontinental
Title wouldn't. HBK left by saying "He was DX before DX was cool."

We next saw Henry and his true love arriving at the restaurant. He gave her a
bouquet of flowers. Chyna saw a price tag of $1.98 on them and threw them back
at Henry.

A shot of the freezer showed the door open and SCSA gone.

Next chapter in Love Story: Loverboy and Uninterested were preparing to have
dinner.

The next match was Goldust v. Double J, accompanied by Debra McMichael. Prior to
the match, we saw clip of their meeting three weeks ago. Double J hit Goldie
with Guitar No. 2,176 and afterwards Goldie took him apart backstage. Owen Hart
joined the announcers and said he is retired and is not The Blue Blazer. Ross
was less than convinced. Goldie started fast and controlled most of the match.
He hit The Curtain Call, but Debra put Double J's foot on the bottom rope. When
Goldie set Double J up for Shattered Dreams (and a trip to the Urologist for
some reconstructive surgery), sweet Debra came into the ring and got in front of
Double F. She seemed to be offering Goldie some of her ample talents. He blew
her off. While she had him distracted, Owen came up from behind and clocked him.
The Blue Blazer joined Owen in the ring, but what's this? he nailed Owen! "The
Blue Blazer" took his mask of and it was a smiling Steve Blackman dressed up as
The Blazer.

Winner - No Decision Announced

We saw a split screen of SCSA searching for The Taker as The Taker, Fatso and
The Orderlies searched for Kane.

The next match was Ladder Match for the Hardcore Championship. Mankind (C) was
accompanied to the ring by The Job Squad, and BM by HBK. HBK chased The Job
Squad back to the locker room and joined the announcers. During the match, HBK
kept holding up cards like an Olympic Judge scoring Mankind's moves He wasn't
generous. The match was Hardcore as both men used the ladder on the other.
Mankind pulled Mr. Socko out and applied The Mandible Claw wearing it. When it
looked like Mankind was about to win the match by climbing to the top of the
ladder and reaching the Hardcore Belt, The Rock hit the ring. He hit Mankind
with Rock Bottom and BM won the match. To add insult to injury, after the match
Shamrock, BM and HBK abused Mrs. Foley's little boy.

Winner - New (Corporate) Hardcore Champion, The Big Bossman

We saw The Taker in the garage looking for Kane. Fatso came in and said he found
him. They left to go after Kane and when they found him, The Taker skulled him
with a chair. He told Fatso to go get The Orderlies while he stuffed Kane into a
body bag. SCSA came out of the shadows and blasted The Taker in the face with
his shovel, shattering it and putting The Taker into deep REM sleep.

The next match was Marvelous Marc Mero (MMM), sans any female company, v. Dwayne
Gill. MMM took he mic and said if he couldn't beat Gill, he would leave the WWF.
Careful MMM, remember what they say about pro football, "On any given
Sunday,..." Gill came out with a group of nine year old football players from
the local area. MMM wiped he ring up with Gill. The Job Squad came out on the
ramp to watch as MMM toyed with The Ultimate Jobber. MMM wen to the top turn
buckle and as he was set to come off onto Gill, The Blue Meanie came out of the
crowd and shoved him off. Gill covered him for the win. Good-bye Marvelous One.

Winner - I choke saying it - Dwayne Gill, The Ultimate Jobber

Fatso found The Orderlies and led them to Kane.

Next Chapter: Dinner was over and Loverboy wanted to go dancing. Chyna wanted a
barf bag.

The next match was for The European Championship, pitting X-Pac v. Ken "The
World's Most Dangerous Man" Shamrock. HBK came out with Shamrock and again
graced the announcers with his presence. We saw a shot of The Royal Family and
The Stooges talking to NAO (recruiting?). As expected, the match was fast and
hard hitting. X-Pac used his feet and hit his Bronco Buster move. He hit The
X-Factor and
had Shamrock beaten, but HBK pulled the referee out and as he was giving him a
ration, BM came in and nailed X-Pac. Shamrock applied his Ankle Submission Hold,
but Triple H hit the ring and stopped him. He mauled Shamrock for a while and pulled
X-Pac to safety. As he got to the top of the ramp, he Crotch Chopped HBK.

Winner By DQ - Ken Shamrock - X-Pac retains the Title

Fatso and The Orderlies found Kane in the Body Bag. Fatso told The Orderlies to
take him to the Asylum.

We saw the younger lovers at the bar. Loverboy was trying to get down and have
Chyna join him. She couldn't have cared less. Henry excused himself for a potty
break. Three studs approached Chyna and asked her to dance. She declined and one
of them persisted and called her a bitch. Wrong move. She hit him with a right
that Mike Tyson would be proud of. Henry returned and the other two paid. Chyna
told Henry it was time to leave.

The next match was Val Venis v. Tiger Ali Singh (TAS). The Godfather and three
of his finest Ho's accompanied Venis and Babu was with TAS. Venis did his
"Hello, Ladies" bit to a big pop, dissing TAS in the process. He asked The
Godfather to keep his eye on "that little monkey (Babu), adding "if he gets out
of line, Spank The Monkey." During the match the Ho's went over to Babu and
played with him. He seemed to like it better than washing TAS's elephant. It was
a high impact match and when Venis had TAS down, Terri Runnels and Jacqueline
came to ringside. Terri was wearing a bit more then she did last week (a
Band-Aid would be more). Jacqueline distracted Venis and Terri came up from
behind and nailed him with a low blow, sending The Big Valbowski into orbit. The
girls high-fived each other as they left. The Acolytes, Farooq and Bradshaw
stormed in and attacked TAS and Babu. Poor Babu just can't catch a break. At
least this week he got stroked by the Ho's. The Ho's comforted Venis as the
carnage in the ring took place. The Jackal joined his Acolytes in the ring.

Winner - None Announced

We saw Fatso waving good-bye to the ambulance taking Kane away. But wait,
there's SCSA and Kane watching the goings on, on a TV set. It must be The Taker
in the Body Bag with a Kane mask that was put on him. Calling Scotland Yard. Are
you in need of a detective? Look at how I arrived at it being Kane.

Prince Shane came out to a rousing chorus of boos. He said we were about to see
a lesson in humility. He said Sable got her start modeling WWF T-Shirts and was
a star because of the marketing genius of Emperor Vince. He called Sable out and
had
her demonstrate the new WWF Attitude Cologne For Men and Eau de Toilette for
Women. When he tried to sniff her, she sprayed him in the face and left.

The next match was the Main Event, pitting Al Snow, accompanied by Head, v. The
Rock. It was a wild match that saw The Rock hit Rock Bottom after Snow missed
The Rock with a Clothesline that nailed the referee. He them dropped The
Corporate Elbow on Head, and the crowd lost it. It was funny! Snow got up and
nailed The Rock with Head, but the referee was still sleeping. Shamrock and BM
made another appearance at ringside. Mankind rushed down to protect Snow and
paid for it as they beat the crap out of him. Snow went for a Head Shot, but The
Rock was ready and nailed him with another Rock Bottom. End of the road for Mr.
Snow. The Rock joined the fun and games on Mankind and headed out. The Job Squad
came to Mankind's assistance and he took off after The Rock. He chased him off
the ramp and backstage.

Winner - The Rock - Loser - Head

Fatso was looking for The Taker but found SCSA and Kane instead. They dragged
his fat @$$ to the ring, where SCSA orally abused him. Fatso had to be wearing
heavy duty Depends, because it sure looked like he was going to wet himself.
SCSA asked him how it felt knowing he sent The Taker to the Crazy House and now
was alone. He reviewed what Fatso and The Taker did to him last week. Fatso kept
blaming it all on The Taker. SCSA had a cold one and asked the crowd for a
"Hell, Yeah" if they wanted to see Fatso get the crap knocked out of him. He got
a resounding one. He told Kane to have at it, but stopped him, saying he had a
better idea. He told Kane to go get his gas can. Kane started to leave, but SCSA
stopped him again. He said that wasn't enough. He said The Taker spoke in
Tongues and now he will. He pulled out a scissors and told Fatso that he was
"Going to gut your fat @$$." Fatso begged SCSA not to kill him, blaming
everything on The Taker. I'm sure that is going to go over well with him when he
hears it. He decided not to gut Fatso and said he had a better idea. He had Kane
drag Fatso out to the street. He instructed Kane to remove a manhole cover and
asked Fatso if he wanted to be stuffed down the sewer (yea, like he had a
choice). SCSA and Kane shoved him down face first. The program ended on that
note.

This was another solid show. It was very entertaining.
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HAYSTACKS LOSES BATTLE FOR LIFE.
By Simon A. Moult (Si316)
Legendary TV grappler Giant Haystacks has lost his long battle against cancer, it has been revealed today. Haystacks, real name Martin Buane, has been battling long term against the illness and submitted to his greatest opponent just this morning.

The announcement was made via Max Crabtree (Haystack's promoter). The wrestler shot to fame on British TV's ITV's World Of Sport cast as the villain opposite Big Daddy. He also appeared in WCW as the Loch Ness Monster.

Just recently Haystacks spoke of his fear of the cancer that has now killed him, saying "I don't want to thrash the world anymore, my greatest joy is waking up in the morning, seeing the blue skies and hearing the birds sing. Cancer was my biggest opponent, you cannot see it and you never know when it will strike."

Max Crabtree (the brother of the wrestler Big Daddy) said, "It is a very sad day, he was the greatest star ever to grace British wrestling, he fought to the end. He loved his wife Rita and his children. They meant the world to him."

British wrestling mourns, as will elsewhere no doubt, the loss of one of the country's greatest performers. The man Martin Buane, the legend Giant Haystacks.
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"IF VAL VENIS WERE PRESIDENT"
BY SAMJERRY
VISIT my Home Page: http://members.aol.com/~samjerry

1. The capital would be relocated to The Pink Pussycat Cinema, Times Square, NY

2. The biggest selling toys at Christmas would be Backdoor Barbie and Ready To Go Ken.

3. A new $69 bill would be introduced.

4. Jenna Jameson would be the Ambassador to Russia, and China, and England, and France, and ......

5. "Hello, Ladies" would be printed on every dollar bill.

6. The Godfather would be the Secretary of Labor.

7. The Washington Monument would be renamed in honor of The Big Valbowski.

8. Terri Runnels next movie would be "Romancing The Bone."

9. Breast Enhancement Surgery would be a free service to all women.

10. When wrestling crowds chant "We want Head," they would get some.
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Reader Mailbag
Submitted by reader: Red2tiger
The Wolfpac, despite having 2 injured men, have risen in popularity. Sting, now injured, is the most popular wrestler in the Wolfpac. Nash is next. After dominating WW3 like that how could you not like this guy? The next has to be K-Dawg; he has a lot of fans now and will have a whole lot more since his new TV Title. Luger has lost some popularity since he hasn't had a decent match since Hart. Macho comes in last because he hasn't been in a match since spring.
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The staff of The Wrestling Booking Sheet
Editor: Steve Appy
Columnist: Mark George
Columnist: SamJerry
Columnist: Fritz Capp
Columnist: Rick Phelps
Columnist: Cindy Barnes
Columnist: Josh Hewitt
Columnist: Swami
Columnist: Tom Misnik
Columnist: Nate Pelley
Columnist: Osiris
Columnist: Tom Kirkbride
Columnist: Darren Kramer

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