Issue # 125
Date:
Saturday January 9th, 1999
5:50 pm
The Wrestling Booking Sheet
"IF TONY SCHIVIONNE WERE
PRESIDENT"
BY
SAMJERRY
VISIT
my Home Page:
http://members.aol.com/~samjerry
1. Every State Dinner would
be "The State Great Dinner
Ever," every
meeting would be "The
Greatest Meeting Ever,"
every Bill would be "The
Greatest Bill Ever," Of
course, his Administration
would be "The
Greatest Piece Of Bull Sh*t
Ever."
2. Fat Tony's autobiography,
"Lying With A Straight Face"
or "Whatever
Eric Wants, Eric Gets" shows
that being a Toad and
sacrificing your
dignity pays the bills.
3. Fat Tony once again
proves the old adage "If you
can't dazzle them
with brilliance, baffle them
with Bullsh*t" works.
4. The top selling toys
would be Ken The Shill,
Bullsh*t Ken, Full Of
Crap Ken, and Dangerously
Overweight, But Loving It
Ken Inaction
Figures. All would available
at Richard Simmons Studios
everywhere, on
the Internet at
www.TonyIsFOS.Com, at Fat
@$$es "R" Us, or by calling
1-800-TheShill.
5. Fat Tony would solve the
Iraqi problem by going there
and eating
every drop of food in the
country, calling it "The
Greatest Buffet
Ever." He would then leave
"The Greatest Dump Ever" on
Saddam, thus
solving "The Greatest
Problem Of The Century."
(Not Saddam, Tony's
after breakfast, too early
for lunch snack problem).
6. The National Symbol,
whatever it is, would be the
"Greatest
National Symbol Ever." Rumor
has it that he plans on
using his last
belt since it is now too
small to use to measure the
earth's
circumference.
7. The military would be
"The Greatest Fighting Force
In History," but
must be back in their
barracks at
11 PM sharp, since no action
is
allowed after that time (at
least none that is
televised).
8. The National Anthem would
be replaced by chants of
"EAT IT, EAT IT."
9. The dollar bill would
have a picture of Fat Tony
on one side (if it
fits) and on the other, what
else..."The Greatest Dollar
Bill Ever."
Ten cents out of every
dollar spent by every
citizen would be used to
keep Tony in vittles.
10. The WWF would be
disbanded in "The Greatest
Disbanding Of All
Time," with every wrestler,
referee, ring crew, office
employee and
member of the McMahon family
skinned, eviscerated, and
frozen for use
by Fat Tony as
midnight snacks for one
month.
===========================================
FANTASY BOOKING- THIS WILL
NOT HAPPEN
Submitted by reader:
JTa6547591
Raw- 11/11/99
Owen Hart and Jeff Jarrett
come out and challenge Steve
Blackman,
Goldust and Dan Severn to a
six man tag at the Royal
Rumble, saying
that they will bring along
the ' real Blue Blazer'.
Blackman accepts
on the team's behalf, but
Dan doesn't seem happy with
the decision,
made without consulting him
first; he isn't sure that
his neck is
fully healed.
Heat- 1/17/99
Goldust vs. Owen Hart.
Jarrett lends Owen his
guitar which he smashes
over the head of Goldust to
get the pin, who is enraged
when he comes
to.
Raw- 1/18/98
Goldust challenges Owen to a
rematch with Blackman and
Double J in
their respective corners,
Owen accepts. Dan Severn is
due to return
against Jeff Jarrett, but
before the match, the
cameras catch up with
an incident where they catch
Jarrett leaving Dan's locker
room with
the superstar lying on the
ground, a smashed guitar
around his head
and Jeff saying to him: "I
told you no to p*** me off".
Worries are
that his neck has been
re-injured.
Owen comes down the ramp for
his match but walks off as
he is upset
with Jarrett for attacking
the Beast, saying " you
didn't have to do
that" to him as the two
argue at ringside. Jarrett
decides to take
over and face Goldust. After
a great match, the Blue
Blazer leaps
into the ring, attacking
Goldust causing the D.Q.
with a spinning heel
kick and sharpshooter. The
commentaters keep saying how
Owen Hart must
think we're all fools.
Heat- 1/24/99
Steve Blackman, in an
interview, tells Michael
Cole that
Severn has
had to drop out of the match
that night as he is
concerned about his
neck and doesn't think he is
one hundred percent fit.
"What will
happen to the match at the
Rumble?" Jim Ross questions.
Royal Rumble
Blackman and Goldust come
out and say that they are
not going to back
away from their opponents,
so they will fight in a 3 on
2 handicap
match. The 3 man team are
disqualified when the Blazer
puts on a
dragon sleeper on both men
and Owen and Jarrett
continue to pound on
them at the same and refuse
to stop. In his
uncontrollable rage, the
Blazer rips off his mask to
reveal.......DAN
SEVERN!!!!!!
===========================================
A DISAPPOINTED LUGER FAN
Submitted by reader:
Si316
RE: Lex Luger Spectrum
incident (issue 120)
Reading of Luger's apparent
conduct at the Spectrum
reported in issue
120, I must say I was
completely surprised to hear
it. Being disabled
myself I know how hard it is
to live without the looks or
comments we
get from some of the
ignorant dregs in society. I
get that sometimes
in England but I have been
to America several times and
I am planning
to move there later on in
life just because of the
feeling of
acceptance I got from most
American's I have
encountered.
I would think Lex Luger
would have a little more
understanding and
compassion for the girl, his
illness or "bad day" doesn't
explain or
condone his reaction to what
was simply an autograph
hunter. After
all, fans like that allow
Lex to get paid the wages he
does. I am
also suprised that WCW did
not attempt to redeem
themselves, maybe
giving free tickets to
another show. Disabled have
enough hurdles to
get over in life and I bet
the comments last a hell of
a lot longer in
her mind than that of
Luger's. Disabled people
come up against that
sort of thing every day and
because we hear a lot of it
we tend to be
able to ignore it. Ignoring
it is however made all the
more difficult
when the comment comes from
someone you support /
idolize or whatever.
That, I am sure will stick
in her mind...is it any
wonder that she
'jumped ship' to another
fed?
Simon
===========================================
LUGER'S MOODS
Submitted by reader: Andy
Laudano (Hitman-Andy@xxxxc...)
I just wanted to reply to
Kieth's "In Defense of Luger".
That's a
great memory and in no way
am I looking to tarnish it
but I've met
Luger a few times and he's
very inconsistant and moody.
Sometimes he's
really nice and other times
he couldn't be bothered. The
last time I
saw him was the worst.
There was a small group of
fans waiting in a hotel
lobby in
San
Antonio
before Nitro. Everyone was
well behaved & polite and
the
wrestlers were all being
great about signing & taking
pictures. When
Luger arrived some fans went
to get his autograph and he
asked them to
wait until he got his bags
in. We had no problem with
this and after
he got his bags out and went
to get checked in a little
kid saw him.
There were other wrestlers
in the lobby at this time
waiting to get
checked in but this little
kid only had eyes for Luger.
He followed
Lex around with a piece of
paper & a pen and asked for
an autograph
and Luger didn't even
acknowledge the little guy.
Finally Scott Hall
had enough and said "Hey,
Lex! Just sign the kids
autograph!" Lex
rolled his eyes and finally
did and the kid was
thrilled. Everyone
else just thought Luger was
an asshole for doing that to
a little kid
-especially being a father
himself.
Now while its possible Luger
was behind that nice gesture
to you it
sounds more like something
Sting would do. You'd think
that as popular
as Sting has always been
he'd have an attitude or at
least try to
avoid people but thats not
the case. He's really nice
and thats coming
from someone whos not even a
big Sting fan. I think maybe
Luger
mentioned seeing you and
Sting was behind inviting
you over. This
isn't meant to trash Luger
but to say I doubt the girl
did or said
anything wrong. Being that
moody normally I can only
imagine him with
the flu!
~ Andy
P.S. Since I mentioned Scott
Hall earlier let me say that
Scott Hall &
Kevin Nash are two of the
best wrestlers you can meet.
I've never seen
either one turn down an
autograph request and after
shows I've seen
both make sure that anyone
who wanted an autograph or
picture got one
before they went up to their
rooms. Total class acts.
Hitman-Andy@xxxxc...
===========================================
FANTASY BOOKING- THIS WON'T
HAPPEN
Submitted by reader:
Scottman65
Raw:
Vince comes out and says The
Rock will come in the Rumble
number 3.
Followed by the rest of the
Corporate Team. A surprise
guest will
come in number 30. He
guaranteeds
Austin won't win.
Royal Rumble
Vince comes out
Austin follows. SCSA starts
too beat up Vince. The
Rock comes
in and throws SCSA. Vince
tries to throw out The Rock
from his
blindside. The Rock turns
around and nails Vince with
the Rock Bottom
and follows with the
"People's Elbow." Finally
the Corporate team gets
there in time and
beats up the Rock. He is
thrown out. Blackman,
Farrooq, Bradshaw,
Owen Hart, Jeff Jarret, etc.
get beat up by the
corporation. The Blue
Blazer comes in and Vince
says he had enough and wants
to know who is.
The Corporation holds the
Blazer down. Vince rips off
the mask and
its
Austin. He stuns everybody.
Him and Vince are left but
then, the
mystery guest is left. Chris
Jericho comes in. He goes to
hit
Austin
but turns around and throws
McMahon in the LionTamer.
Shane comes in
and tries to break it up but
Austin gives him a nice big
stunner.
Vince gives up. SCSA and
Jericho raises each other's
hand but then
Ralphus pulls
Austin out. The number 1
contender is now Chris
Jericho.
===========================================
FANTASY BOOKING- THIS WON'T
HAPPEN
Submitted by reader:
TripleH99
Blue Meanie
1-4-99-RAW-
The Blue Meanie and Duane
Gill team up to face Edge
and Christian. As
soon as the match starts The
Meanie climbs in the ring
and starts
pummeling Edge and
Christian. Gangrel tries to
jump in but The Meanie
gets him too. The ref
eventually calls the match a
no-contest cause
The Meanie won't control
himself. Gill tries to calm
him down but he
gets met with a fist in his
face, knocking him over the
top rope. The
JOB Squad comes out and
eventually calm him down.
1-10-99-HEAT-
The Meanie meets Gangrel of
the Brood. As the match
progresses Al Snow
and Head come down to cheer
on Meanie. Snow shakes Head
in the air
like always and the fans
start chanting Head, Head,
Head but The
Meanie after seeing this
snatches Head away from Snow
and uses it on
Gangrel causing a DQ. The
ref is nailed by Head too
and Snow tries to
calm him down but he gets
hit with Head as well.
1-11-99-RAW-
The Job Squad comes out and
calls out The Blue Meanie.
When he is in
the ring Snow starts asking
him why he did what did last
night. The
Meanie grabbed the mic and
Head. He started shaking it
in the air like
Snow usually does and the
fans start chanting Head.
The Meanie
explains that this is the
reason. Because Snow needs
Head to get over
with the fans when quite
easily Snow could easily get
over with Head
some other way and certainly
on his own and not with help
from the
boss. Meanie tosses Head
onto the ground and says "Al,you've
done a
lot for my career but now I
need to do things my way. I
didn't come to
the WWF to be a glorified
jabronie again. I came to be
a star and
you're holding me back from
being a star. I quit the JOB
Squad and am
issuing a challenge to you
for later tonight. Winner
gets Head
forever." Snow accepts.
Meanie later defeats Snow
with help from
Scorpio who also quit the
JOB Squad and is siding with
the Meanie.
1-18-99-RAW-
Duane Gill vs The Meanie-The
Meanie announces that no
longer will he
be called the Blue Meanie
but just plain The Meanie
and he doesn't
wear anything blue anymore,
just a plain white shirt and
tattered
shorts like always. At the
end of the match The Meanie
grabs Head
while Scorpio distracts the
ref and Meanie nails Gill
with it (Head
also has a complete makeover
as well) to win the match.
After all this
The Meanie and Scorpio could
go onto to the Tag Belts
while feuding a
little with the JOB Squad
and this would hopefully get
both men over
as heels but I have no clue
what McMahon would do with
Snow if this
actually happened.
===========================================
SHIAVONIE ERROR
Submitted by reader: David
Isley (David_Isley@xxxxc...)
I absolutely loved the
remarks made by Mark George
about how low class
Tony Schivonie really is. I
don't know if the remarks he
made about
Foley were given to him to
report on the show, but he
is a behind the
scenes guy with WCW. This
guy has NEVER to my
knowledge ever taken 1
bump in the business and
ought to be helping Klondike
Bill set the
ring up and getting the boys
their coffee. They should've
ditched him
the same time they ditched
David Crockett on the mic.
You're totally
correct, Jim Ross owns you,
Tony.
===========================================
FANTASY BOOKING- THIS WON'T
HAPPEN
Submitted by reader:
NUGENT316
Raw is War--
Jerry Lawler and Michael
Cole announce, much to the
disappointment of
the live crowd on hand, that
Stone Cold Steve Austin will
not be in
the building because he's
"taking care of business
elsewhere." Vince
McMahon comes out and then
tells the booing crowd to
not be upset
because, "Tonight, live, in
that very ring, a major
superstar, a
former WWF World Champion in
fact, will pop up somtime
before the
night is over."
Monday Nitro--
on the same night on TNT, it
is announced that a
superstar of
monumental proportions is in
the building, and that he
was not invited
but that he showed up
anyways. They go on to say
that the mystery man
will "stun" the world upon
his entrance.
War Zone--
Vince McMahon comes out with
Team Corporate, and enters
the ring. He
grabs the mic and announes,
"Ladies and gentleman, the
one, the only,
Hollywood Hogan and the
nWo!" Hogan comes out with
Nash and Hall, and
they then enter the ring.
Hogan and Rock go face to
face, but at the
signal of McMahon, they both
embrace. Hogan takes the
mic, "Eric
Bischoff and WCW can
basically kiss my @$$!" The
crowd goes crazy.
Hogan than says that he and
the nWo are there for one
reason-- to take
over the WWF under the
guidance of Vince McMahon.
"nWo has gone
corporate, and making lots
of money is just to sweeet!"
Later on in
the night, Team Corporate's
Bossman, Shamrock, Kane, and
The Rock are
facing Triple H, The
Outlaws, and X-Pac in a
street fight. nWo
Corporate comes down and
enters the ring. Nash has a
chair and aims it
at Triple H as McMahon
smiles. Nash then swings as
Triple H ducks and
Nash takes a shot at Hogan.
Hall then scoops Hogan up
and nails the
Outsider Edge. Nash
jackknifes Rock and Triple H
covers him for the
pin. As Team Corporate, an
irate McMahon, and a fazed
Hogan leave, the
complete DX in its entirety-
Nash, Hall, Triple H, X-Pac,
and The
Outlaws, all give McMahon
the crotch chop. HBK comes
out and says, "DX
ain't complete without the
Heartbreak Kid!" HBK then
tells the crowd,
we got two words for Hogan
and McMahon, and DX and the
crowd yell out,
"SUCK IT!"
Nitro-- same night, exactly
right after Raw goes off the
air following
the DX bit, everything is
silent as the glass breaks.
And out comes
Stone Cold, beverage in
hand. WCW refs surround him
and tell him not
to drink it, but he flips
them off and downs it. The
crowd loves it.
However, a Goldberg chant
begins.
Austin verbally berates the
crowd,
WCW, and Bischoff before
finally calling out who he
calls his
wannabee- Goldberg. The two
stare face to face in the
ring as the
crowd goes crazy. They
exchange words as
Austin flips him off and
Goldberg charges at him. The
refs seperate the brawl and
the show
ends......
WWF-WCW War of the Worlds...
to be continued. . .
===========================================
DEFENDING SHIAVONIE
Submitted by reader:
TIMEBOMBS
Why is everyone dissing Tony
Schiavone? He said something
out of
line, I know, but you have
to think, I bet it was not
his decision to
say it. He is told what to
say on the air, and he
probably was told to
say that. I have to say I
don't like the WCW
announcing team. Bobby
Henan adds a little bit of a
funny touch, but Schiavone
is a nerd, and
Tenay is too in depth. WWF
has a great team that adds
humor, and real
commentary. However WCW does
get down to the dirt and
find out all
the details on everything,
something I think WWF lacks.
But back to
the Schiavone incident, a
few weeks ago, if you will
think back,
during the announcment of
the second name in the
rumble (When McMahon
announced himself as the 2nd
entrant in the Rumble). He
said he was
the only thing that could
save Ted Turner's "crappy"
WCW. No one
disrespected him for it, yet
it was another cheap shot.
The Schiavone
mentioning what had happened
on the pre-taped RAW was
more out of
line, and I think it ruined
a suprise for some of us,
but it probably
ended up giving RAW more
ratings. In the end I would
just suggest
that if anyone from either
WCW of WWF is reading this
that one of you
just move your show to
Tuesday, fans would be happy
that they wouldn't
miss action while watching
the other guy, and ratings
would sky rocket
for each station because no
one would be changing back
and forth. In
the end both WCW and WWF
have excahnged cheap shots,
but it ends up
the same, so I think you
should leave Schiavone
alone, and get off his
back. Thank you.
===========================================
CONGRATS MICK!
Submitted by reader:
Oz316
The first thing I have to
say is congratulations to
Mick Foley on
finally getting what he has
deserved for so long. Next,
what in the
world was Schiavonie
thinking? If I were an
average fan watching
Nitro, the first thing I
would have done when I heard
Mick Foley would
win the belt was turn to
RAW. The last hour of Raw
was one of the
best in some time in my
opinion. The hardcore title
match was awesome,
the best in a long time.
Plus, DX pulled a Serpico on
HBK, and the
great World Title match to
cap it off. As for Nitro,
aside from the
Saturn vs.
Jericho match, LWO match,
and the ending, it was more
of
the same. But the ending was
without a doubt the best
since '96.
What WCW needs to do is
limit the nWo to Hogan,
Stiener, Bagwell,
Luger, Hall, and Nash. Get
rid of Stevie Ray and the
rest of them.
When Bischoff let the
midcarders in is what ruined
it last time.
===========================================
The staff of The Wrestling Booking Sheet
Editor: Steve Appy
Columnist:
Mark George
Columnist: SamJerry
Columnist: Fritz Capp
Columnist: Rick Phelps
Columnist: Cindy Barnes
Columnist: Josh Hewitt
Columnist: Swami
Columnist: Tom Misnik
Columnist: Nate Pelley
Columnist: Osiris
Columnist:
Tom Kirkbride
Columnist:
Darren Kramer
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Copyright- Steve Appy
of The Wrestling Booking
Sheet ©1998, 1999, 2000
"When you're young and you
pick up a guitar, it feels
so powerful. It feels
like you pulled the sword
from the stone. I used to
believe that it could save
the world. But I don't
really believe that
anymore." - Bruce
Springsteen
"The greatest challenge of
adulthood is holding on to
your idealism
after you lose your
innocence and believing in
the power of the human
spirit after you come
crashing into the limits of
the real adult
world." - Bruce Springsteen |