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Vandy! (September 1996)


Beer!  (February 2006)

Issue # 132

Date:  Friday January 15th, 1999  5:37 pm

The Wrestling Booking Sheet

FROM JIM ROSS (On the WWF Hotline)
"I certainly personally appreciate Mick Foley, Mankind, for mentioning yours
truly on Raw on Monday night. It certainly was another uplifting gesture for me,
in what has been a very challenging six weeks or so of my life, and it really
meant a lot to me for Mick Foley to even think of me at a time like that on
Monday night. I really do appreciate what he had to say, and certainly ... it
brought tears to my eyes ... my family members that I was with as well,
including my lovely wife.

I also understand that my name was mentioned on Ted Turner's show on Monday as
well, although not very positively, or honestly quite frankly ... from one of
Ted Turner's rather no talent lackeys. I just consider both the sources of each
remark. One is a man of character and integrity, who has passionately paid his
dues and enjoys telling the truth. The other individual possesses none of the
aforementioned qualities in my opinion, and is definitely trying to draw
attention to his own limited performing skills, and to stroke his seemingly
already inflated and apparently fragile ego. Now there's a big difference folks
in the fact that one of these men has the respect of virtually the entire
industry, and the other is laughed at behind his back by his own people.
(Reported by

Be sure to check out the web page of Playboy Bobby Starr, a promising
independent worker. His page can be found at:
VISIT my Home Page:

Two weeks ago WCW and Fat Tony made a desperate attempt to stop NITRO's viewers
from switching to a taped RAW by announcing that Mic Foley defeated The Rock and
won the WWF Championship. They completely misread the fans reaction and in fact
may have caused more viewers to switch than normal. They apparently didn't
understand or comprehend Foley's almost universal appeal. Picking on Foley was
about as cool as calling a baby ugly at its christening.

As a result of this bonehead move, the Internet was awash with condemnation of
what they did. Most people blasted The Rotund One for his continual sniping at
the WWF and particularly for his insults directed at Foley. Everyone knows
Georgia Fats was only doing what Good King Eric and the Powers of WCW told him
to do. You didn't really think he had an original idea, did you? The next one he
gets in his head will die of loneliness. Besides, Sir Large can always adopt
that grand old stand by defense, "I was only following orders."

On this past Monday's RAW, the WWF put on the latest of their famed parodies.
This time they did a hilarious "Gillberg" routine, with Light Heavyweight
Champion Dwayne Gill (I choke every time I say that), doing Goldberg better than
he does himself. His "Who's First?" had people rolling in the aisles, and
forgetting "Who's Next." Rumor has it that there may be more "Gillberg's" until
he finally snaps his "Streak" and wins in his 174th match.

After they did this bit, WCW fans jumped on it and said it was no different than
what Mr. Big did, also citing The Rock's doing Hogan, Savage and others. WRONG!
If WCW did a skit and teased the WWF, that would have been great and hopefully
given us all a good laugh. Remember when Nash and the NWO (whatever version it
was at that time) did their spoof of Old Man Arn. It was one of the funniest
things I have ever seen. It brought the house down. If they waited a week and
then spoofed Foley winning the Title, I don't think anyone would have objected
and in fact may have drawn a few more viewers.

That's one of the big differences between WCW and the WWF today. WCW seems to
take themselves too seriously, always looking to attack. The WWF takes a more
light hearted approach, going after the competition in a fun away (Remember DX's
Invasion of NITRO?). Can you picture Good King Eric giving his mid-carders the
spotlight the way the WWF gave it to Gill? I don't consider having Norman Smiley
rant for 10 minutes every week an effective way of putting him over. All that
accomplishes is giving NITRO viewers time for a potty and/or snack break, and a
reason to reach for the remote. How many people do you think left during the
"Gillberg" bit. I'll give odds you could have counted them on the fingers of a
one armed man (the missing one).

Next weeks RAW is taped. Can we look forward to The Huge One doing it again? If
I was Emperor Vince, I think I would be praying he does. There aren't too many
better way to increase RAW's audience then that.
VISIT my Home Page:

1. Anyone knowing more than two wrestling moves would be prohibited from winning
a Championship. This would protect and prolong the wrestling careers of others
like Nash (i.e., Goldberg, Luger, and [choke] Hogan).

2. Nash's autobiography, "If It Weren't For A Diesel, I'd Still Be An Edsel" or
"White Men Don't Need To Jump" would serve as an inspiration for all seven
footers who can't play basketball.

3. After completing his term, he would become a college professor and teach a
new economics course based on his life, "Take The Money And Run, Loyalty Sucks."

4. The top selling toys would be Leader Of The Pac Ken, Wrestle Once A Decade
Ken, Wind Up And Quit Ken and Hogan's Bitch Ken, Non Wrestling Figures. All
would available at any wrestling venue where the money is right, on the Internet
at www.ITankedToHogan.Com, at Giants "R" Us, or by calling 1-800-BIGSEXY.

5. Nash would solve the Iraqi problem by going there and laying down for Saddam
in a Winner Keeps The Oil Fields Match, converting to Islam and forming a new
cartel, the AWO, Arab World Order, making himself richer and at the same time
finally giving Saddam a victory over an American.

6. The National Symbol would be a picture of Nash bent over with Hogan behind
him. Both would have big Sh*t Eating Grins, with Hogan's obviously much bigger.

7. Nash would be his own one man army, complete with White Flags of all sizes
and shapes.

8. Appointees:
Hollywood Hogan, G-d; Scott Hall, Head of the DEA; Big Poppa
Pump, Head of the FDA; Buffy The Mother Killer, Press Secretary; and Flexy Lexy,
Interface to Young Americans With Disabilities.

9. The dollar bill would have Hollywood Hogan's picture on one side pinning Nash
with one finger. The other side would be left blank, to be filled in upon Nash's
next resurrection of the New/Old/Same/Other/Updated/Revised/Black And White/Red
And Black/Red, Black and White/Fill In The Blank NWO.

10. Konnan, Horace, and all the other NWO Jobbers left out in the cold when Nash
whored for Hogan, will be shipped to a new Federation forming in
Siberia, where
they will be known as the SWO, Shafted World Order.
WCW Thunder Report for
January 14th, 1999

By Rick Phelps (wrestleric)
Tony Schiavone announced that Chris Benoit and Steve McMichael would fight Barry
Windham and Curt Hennig in a tag team main event. The broadcast team then
discussed the ladder match between Scott Hall and Goldberg, as well as the match
between Ric and David Flair and Barry Windham and Curt Hennig at the upcoming
Souled Out Pay-Per-View.

Scott Putski versus Bam Bam Bigelow
"The Beast from the East" sent Scott Putski to
Asbury Park for the pinfall
victory. Winner: Bam Bam Bigelow via pinfall

Norman Smiley versus Prince Iaukea
Norman forced the Prince to submit to the Chicken Wing.
Winner: Norman Smiley via submission

--Mean Gene interviewed "The Mouth of the South" Jimmy Hart. Hart said that he
had reunited the most dangerous tag team ever, The Faces of Fear, Meng and the
Barbarian, for the tag team tournament.

--A clip was shown of Eric Bischoff being demoted by new WCW President Ric Flair
to ring builder. It was also pointed out that that wrench Kevin Nash used to
defeat the Giant was the same wrench Bischoff had used earlier to help set up
the ring.

Chris Jericho versus Van Hammer
Jericho defeated Van Hammer with the Lion Tamer as Saturn (Jericho's opponent at

Souled Out) watched from ringside. Winner: Chris Jericho via submission

--A clip was shown of Goldberg talking about how he made the mistake of thinking
his match with Kevin Nash would be a fair one and that he would never make that
mistake again. He then said that Scott Hall would be the "first" and when he is
through, the question will be, "Who's left?"

Meng/Barbarian w/ Jimmy Hart versus Mike Enos/Bobby Duncum, Jr.
This tag team tournament match was ruled "no contest" when Hollywood Hogan and
the new Wolfpac came to the ring and cleared out the combatants. They then tied
Duncum by the neck with his own rope and used the tazer on him. Hogan
congratulated Nash on his victory over the Giant and then bragged about how they
took care of Konnan on Nitro. Nash then said that there would be no tag team
tournament. Winner: match ruled "no contest"

Wrath versus El Dandy
Wrath made easy work of the former LWO member, but Bam Bam Bigelow came into the
ring and started fighting with the "Master of the Meltdown" before he could get
the three count. Winner: Wrath via disqualification

--Various clips were shown of the NWO wreaking havoc on Nitro.

Disco Inferno versus Super Calo
Scott Hall came to ringside with the tazer and used it on Super Calo, giving
Disco the opportunity to hit the Chartbuster for the win. After the pinfall,
Hall told Disco that the NWO remembers people who do them favors and that Hogan
and Nash wanted to talk to him in the back. Hall then addressed Goldberg and
said that he should go down to Blockbuster Video and check out a couple of his
ladder matches if he doesn't know what a "gimmick"match is.
Winner: Disco Inferno via pinfall

Barry Windham/Curt Hennig versus Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael
Benoit had Windham in the Crippler Cross Face when Hennig came in and hit Benoit
with the chair, causing the referee to call for the bell. As Hennig continued
to pummel Benoit, Ric Flair ran into the ring and began to fight with Windham
and Hennig until Windham caught him with a low blow. David Flair then came in
and covered his father's body with his own. After the camera's went off the
air, Arn Anderson ran in and Ric Flair cornered Windham and put on the Figure
Four as Windham furiously tried to tap out.
Winner: Chris Benoit/Steve McMichael via disqualification
Below we are happy to pass on Chris Jericho's latest commentary to his fans,
NP:Galactic Cowboys-At The End Of The Day
Hello Jerichoholics!
I'm off for the next week and I'm just messing around on the net, so its time
for another commentary.

its been a crazy week as things between myself and the powers that be in WCW
are slowing eroding. I'm seriously pondering my future in WCW. I really want to
stay but I guess we just have to wait and see. Hopefully everything will work

I'm excited that the NHL All-star game is being played in Tampa this year. I'm
definitely going to check that bad boy out!

Best wishes and prayers to Eddie Guerrero. Eddie 'll be back before you know it
and better than ever! He's still the best tag team partner, I've ever had!

The movie of the week is the classic Evil Dead. Bruce Campbell is such a great
reluctant hero.

Congrats to the ECW for another successful PPV. its good to see my old pal
Lance Storm kickin it there as well. Two more of my best buds are going to be
surfacing there very soon as well, so stay tuned!!!!

I had a meeting with the tour manager in Knoxville this week and we're shooting
for two weeks in August. We're working on some corporate sponsorship, so you
know we wanna do this right. The jam over Christmas time, produced a new
opening track in Helpless by Metallica (via Diamondhead). It destroyed!!

I saw Brian Hildebrand in Knoxville as well and he looked good. He will be back
in the ring soon as well. I just know it!

I can't wait to go to Calgary to ski soon. I miss Canada!

God Bless you guys and be good.

Melancholy Yours,
Submitted by reader: Nvrmor4lif
I subscribe to the TORCH, Wade is accurate, not 100%, but I'm not expecting that
from him. Reading the so called "San Antonio Newspaper Report", which I may add
did not show up in the issues of the San Antonio newspaper published on the web,
the red flag went up the moment I noticed no AP logo, words spelt wrong, and a
general feeling of an unprofessional piece of writing. A few days later, lo and
behold, the same person reports a lower carder is dead and before I know it,
Monday rolls around, and there's this dead guy on live TV. There were
newsboards who published these phony reports, some did not. Most that did were
probably acne faced, virginal middle schoolers who can't say "Suck It" enough
times in a day (considering the joy it actually brings when done properly by a
member of the opposite sex) or have the latest T-shirt to show off to their
fellow idiot's. If its going to get to the point where any post is published
and it takes 2-3 days to have the truth come out, maybe, just maybe, regulations
are necessary for these brain dead idiots who allow such B.S. to be published
under the guise of "freedom of speech". Yo, fellas, the web is for the world,
not just the USA, outside the borders, its a whole different ball game.
Submitted by reader: FatesClwn
1/18 Nitro
Plain old Nitro, main event Goldberg vs. Nash. Goldberg wins, and he gets
a shot at the title, Nash wins, Goldberg has to move down to the TV title
picture. Long match, much like Starcade. In the end Hogan accidentally hits Nash
in the head with a chair costing him the match. Nash is upset.

1/25 Nitro
Second hour Savage comes out and has an interview about how he is going to
destroy the nWo. He is cut short by a rampant group of ruffions, Hennig,
Horace, Vincent, etc.

Main Event. Hogan fighting Goldberg for the title, Nash and Hall come out with
Hogan, and Flair and Benoit escort Goldberg. Midway through the match Nash and
Hall try to interrupt but the Horseman stop them. A big fight ensues outside
the ring.
While all the ruckus is going on, Macho comes down to ringside with a chair.
Goldberg sees him and goes for an Irish Whip, Hogan reverses, sending Goldberg
down, 1, 2, 3. Hogan retains, in controversial style.

1/28 Thunder
Macho comes out and apologizes to Goldberg. Goldberg comes out and talks about
how Macho better watch himself. Macho retorts and gets speared for his reply.

2/1 Nitro
Hogan messes up on of Halls matches, Nash and Hall tell Hogan that he is messing
up big time, Hogan reminds them where the power lies. Nash and Hall leave the
ring. Then Hogan leaves seperatly.

Main event. Hogan, Hall and Nash vs. Goldberg, Benoit and Flair. Awesome match,
big pops for both parties. Goes back and forth, until Nash has Benoit in a full
nelson. Hogan goes for a punch, but Benoit moves and hits Nash. Nash and Hall
begin to pummel Hogan, off air.

2/4 Thunder
Macho and Goldberg get into it in the back with Big Poppa Pump and Lex. Match
is announced for upcoming PPV. Hogan comes out and challenges Nash and Hall to
a match at the upcoming PPV. Nash says "You mean me and Hall beating up on
your old @$$?" Hogan says "Dont worry brudda I got backup.

Macho and Goldberg easily beat Big Poppa Pump and Lex, Macho not being a big
part in the match.

Main event. Nash and Hall come out to a standing crowd. Hogan comes out to
boos. Then halfway down the aisle he looks back and does that nWo two handed
pointing thing......Macho Man! Macho and Hogan beat the snot outta the
Outsiders, winning the Tag titles.
Submitted by reader: FF8SquallX
Shane: I know what you're thinking....
Dreamer: I'm not a real athlete...
Jack Victory: You're right...
Sal E. Graziano: I'm 6 feet tall and 5000 pounds...
Bill Alfonso: Haven't been to the dentist since I was 2...
Sabu: I was a national champion at vomitting camel jerkey...
Terry Funk: My jersey was retired at the old folks home..
Joel Gertner: When you step between those ropes, wet dreams do happen
Taz: I'm shaped like a basketball..
Dreamer: Smashed my head against a 1000 lockers...
Rob Van Dam: I'm the whole f'n show!
Shane: I hate you all!!!
Taz: Contracted every single STD out there...
New Jack: Broke every damn bone in my body 5 times..
Joey Styles: OH MY GOD!
Storm: I don't have any mic skills! :Cries:
Justin Credible: F*ck you all!!!!
Buh Buh: I'll kick your ass!!!!
Taz: This isn't my gut?
RVD: Try doing that spin kick!
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"When you're young and you pick up a guitar, it feels so powerful. It feels like you pulled the sword from the stone. I used to believe that it could save the world. But I don't really believe that anymore." - Bruce Springsteen

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