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Vandy! (September 1996)

 

Beer!  (February 2006)

Issue # 244

Date:  Tuesday May 11th, 1999  7:50 am

The Wrestling Booking Sheet

UPCOMING HART TITLE REIGN?
Reports are that Bret Hart could make a title run this summer. Kevin Nash and
the WCW booking committee are going to be gauging the length of his reign
according to fan response, and will either continue into the summer, or drop the
title to Sting in June. Either way, look for Hart to challenge the champion in a
summer feud; actually, despite his downtime, Hart could make a very credible
champion...
Reported by Al Isaacs at: http://www.scoopscentral.com

MARK HENRY RETURNS
Mark Henry is set to begin a full wrestling schedule in the next couple of
weeks, and will begin a heel character like he attempted as a member of the
Nation of Domination. The WWF feels that Henry got over as a fan favorite, and
can legitimately attract monster heat with a turn on D'Lo and an assault on Ivory
(as I have heard). If all goes well, and the Godfather continues his push, look
for Sexual Chocolate to begin a long feud with the "hardest woking pimp in the
business."
Reported by Al Isaacs at: http://www.scoopscentral.com
===========================================
ROUNDING THE SQUARED CIRCLE
RAW -
MAY 10,1999 - ORLANDO, FL
BY SAMJERRY
Visit my Home Page: http://members.aol.com/samjerry
Tonight's program came from The City Beautiful, Home of DisneyWorld, SeaWorld,
Universal Studios, and every other "World" you can think of (i.e., Tire World,
Insurance World, Hubcap World, etc.) and began with a clips from last weeks tag
team match between The Undertaker and Triple H v. The Rock and Stone Cold Steve
Austin (SCSA). The 'Taker and Triple H threw The Rock and SCSA off the top of the
platform, with The Rock suffering a broken arm.

We next saw The Corporate Ministry (CM) arriving. Included were Shane, The
'Taker The Fat Man, Triple H, Chyna, The Bossman, Viscera, Midian and The Mean Street
Pussies [Rodney and Pete Gas].

Next we saw Mr. McMahon and The Union arriving, escorted by three riot
policemen. Included were The Big Show, Test, Mankind and Nutso.

After the RAW opening, JR and The King were at the desk.

The lights went out and when they came back on, Kane came to the ring. We saw a
clip from last night's Heat of Bad @$$ attacking X-Pac and Kane spending the
rest of the night hunting him down. This set up the first match, Kane v. Bad
@$$. As Bad @$$ neared the ring, some very fine young blonde thing ran up to him
and was escorted away by a security official. Bad @$$ looked truly surprised by
it all. Kane went out and began pounding Bad @$$ at ringside and then threw him
into the ring and continued mauling him. Bad @$$ decided he would rather be at
DisneyWorld and tried to leave. Kane dragged his @$$ back to the ring. Bad @$$
tried to come back b going after Kane's legs, but Kane overwhelmed him. Kane got
hung up upside down in the ropes and Bad @$$ pounded on him, refusing to allow
the referee to free him. X-Pac and Road Dogg raced down. While X-Pac tried to
free Kane, Doggie and Bad @$$ fought out into the crowd and disappeared. D-Lo
Brown and Mark Henry stormed down with Ivory. They jumped X-Pac and Kane. The
crowd chanted "D-Lo sucks." They kept it up until Kane managed to get free and
then they took off as fast as their fat little tree stumps would let them.
No winner announced

We saw McMahon and The Union on their way to the ring, accompanied by the three
riot policemen.

We saw Shane and CM on their way to the ring.

We got a shot of Monica Seles, who was among the crowd watching the action.

The
Union came to the ring. McMahon took the mic and said Shane had ripped the
family apart and we can now "Look for the Union Label." He called Shane and CM
out.

Shane and CM came out to the top of the ramp. Shane said he didn't need Dear Old
Dad (DOD) or his family. He heard his personal chant .. "@$$hole." He said he
has his own family, the CM, and tonight will destroy DOD and The Union, and "it
will all be mine."

The lights went out again and when they came back on, WWF Commissioner Shawn
"HBK" Michaels appeared on The TitanTron. He said the weather in
San Antonio is
better than
Orlando's. Note to HBK: Horsesh*t, Orlando's worse day beats San
Antonio
's best. HBK said Shane's matchmaking last week left a lot to be
desired, so as Commissioner, he was making changes to tonight's card. But first
he had a change for the Main Event at the WWF's next PPV, Over-The-Edge (
OTE).
He announced a second Special Referee as DOD. Shane went wild.

He then announced eight matches for tonight:

1. Acolyte v. Acolyte, Bradshaw v. Farooq, in a Lumberjack Match, with The
Union
being the Lumberjacks.

2. A Nightstick On A Pole Match between Test and The Bossman. The first man to
get the Nightstick "can stick it where the sun don't shine."

3. A Rematch between The Geriatric Stooges, Pat Paterson and Jerry Briscoe, v.
MSP, with a Stipulation (there's that word again), Loser leaves the WWF forever.
Note To MSP: Don't let the door hit you in the @$$ on you way out.

4. Nutso v. Chyna, World's Most Dangerous Man v. World's Most Dangerous Woman.

5. The Big Show v. "The Meanest, Baddest Man, The 10th, 11th and 12th Most
Dangerous Man In The World, The Fat
Man. With that, Fatso collapsed. His black
pants hid the brown and yellow stains. He added a Stipulation (again!) that if
any of CM comes to the ring to help Fatty, The 'Taker will forfeit his Title
Shot at
OTE.

6. A Hardcore Handicap Match, pitting Viscera and Midian v. Cactus Jack, making
a one-time only appearance. The crowd popped big at the mention of Cactus Jack's
name.

7. A WWF Women's Title Match, between Sable (C) and Debra. He made it an Evening
Gown Match and if Sable doesn't show, he will "strip her of the only thing she
hasn't taken off, the WWF Belt."

8. The main Event, a Six Man Tag Team Match pitting CM, The 'Taker, Triple H and
Shane v. The Rock, SCSA and DOD. The crowd loved it.

As HBK started to announce who the Special Referee for the Main Event would be,
Shane cut him off and said he would name the Special Referee.

HBK called him a "Simpleton" and a "Nimrod," and instructed the Riot Policemen
to remove their masks. The one was
Paterson, the second was Briscoe, and the
third .. HBK!! He was in
Orlando, not San Antonio. HBK took the mic and said he
will be the Guest Referee. The crowd erupted.

The next match was The Show v. Fatso. Show came to the ring and waited. Fatso
finally came out and said "No F'N way." HBK came out and dragged his lard @$$ to
the ring and rolled (literally) him in. HBK joined the announcers. Fatso begged,
but Show couldn't care less. He nailed Fatso with a big foot to the face and
that knocked him into the
Georgia. The building moved a few feet when he fell..
Show then dropped an elbow on Fatso and the ring shook. Show went over to HBK
and asked to have the Stipulation removed. He wanted The Dead Man. Ever
agreeable, HBK told him to have a ball. Show called The Taker out. The Taker
reluctantly came to ringside. The Show dropped another elbow on Fatso. its a
good thing they were using a Deluxe Reinforced Acme Ring and Mat. CM charged in
and jumped The Show. The
Union rushed down with their Acme 2x4's and made the
save.
Winner - The Big Show - Big Surprise
Loser - The Fat Man

We saw Debra heading to the ring wearing a tight red Evening Gown. The Puppies
were rearing their pretty heads.

We saw Sable just finished having her hair done. She was wearing a bikini bottom
and halter top, covered by a long lace wrap. Her Puppies were definitely
struggling for fresh air. Her bodyguard, Gender Challenged Nicole Bass (It)
uglied up the room.

Debra was first to the ring and The King dusted off his Puppy Jokes. HBK wasn't
too shabby at it either. Sable came to ring accompanied by It. HBK called It
"One big dude." Sable took the mic and did her usual bit and then The Grind. The
men ate it up. The King swallowed his bubble gum. Val Venis came to ringside and
Debra went over to greet him. Sable charged over and tore Debra's Evening Gown
off, stripping her to bra and panties. Sable was announced as the winner.

It went out after Val, who backed up the ramp away from her. As he reached the
top of the ramp, he turned and got nailed by JJ's Acme Guitar No. 3679
(unofficial count). It wasn't too happy. Note to JJ: You better sleep with both
eyes open.

Michael Bass got into the ring and started to ask Sable about her victory, but
was cut short by HBK who came in and took the mic away. HBK told Sable as The
Commissioner, he makes the rules for matches and for an Evening Gown Match, the
winner is the one who loses her Gown. He said with Puppies like that, pointing
to Debra, and ones that haven't been seen yet, Debra was the winner. Sable went
ballistic. She about set It on HBK. Debra was all smiles.
Winner - Debra - New WWF Women's Champion
Winners - The fans - Any Puppies in a storm
Loser - Val Venis

We saw a split screen of The Rock, SCSA and DOD getting ready in separate locker
rooms.

We saw Shane giving Triple H and The 'Taker a pep talk.

The next match was the Night Stick On A Pole Match, pitting Test v. The Bossman.
The Night Stick was atop a 15 foot pole in one corner. Prior to the match, we
saw a clip from last weeks Four Corner Match won by Test, who was then beat up
by the other three, including Bossman. The crowd chanted "Bossman Sucks." Test
went for the Night Stick first and Bossman grabbed him by the trunks. We may not
have seen Puppies, but we sure saw a Full Moon. The match got very physical as
they each stopped the other's attempts to get the Nightstick. Test was finally
able to get it, but when he went to use it, was nailed by what looked to be a
Steel Baton the Bossman had hidden in his boot. Test tried a Flip but Bossman
was able to prevent it. He hit Test in the head with the Night Stick and it was
Game, Set, Match.
Winner - The Bossman

We saw Cactus Jack backstage. He picked up two basketballs and headed to the
ring.

Michael Cole talked with Val Venis backstage. Val said Debra wants him (Note to
Val: Your a male, that qualifies you in her book). He called JJ out and said
JJ's Guitar will never measure up to The Big Valbowski. Writers Note: Does
anything?

The next match was the Handicap Hardcore Match, pitting CM members Viscera and
Midian v. "The King Of Hardcore," Cactus Jack, making a one-time only
appearance. Jack came out carrying a basketball. There were other weapons on the
ramp. Viscera and Midian met Jack on the ramp and the match got underway. The
crowd chanted "Foley." There weren't too many weapons used in the match, mainly
an Acme Metal Trash Can and an Acme Steel Chair, both products of the Acme Steel
Company, Division of The Acme Corporation. Viscera and Midian dominated early,
but Jack fought back and took command after a Double DDT. Jack finally won after
a back kick to Viscera's Corporate Jewels, followed by a Flying Chair Shot from
the apron to Viscera's ponderous hulk on the floor.
Winner - Cactus Jack - The King Of Hardcore

Michael Cole talked with Chyna backstage about her match v. Nutso. She said
"every 28 days she gets a little bit moody, and yesterday was number 27." What
do you suppose she meant? She added that she planned to rip off Nutso's bal*s
and stomp them. The very thought hurts.

We saw a montage of Steve "The Lethal Weapon" Blackman practicing the martial
arts. The start of a push?

The next match was a Lumberjack Match, pitting Acolyte v. Acolyte, Bradshaw v.
Farooq, with The Union as The Lumberjacks. Test, Nutso and The Big Show can out
with their Acme Lumber Company 2x4's in hand. Mankind was absent. Farooq took
the mic and said "punk @$$ HBK was going to make them fight for your [the crowd]
amusement ... I don't think so." He said Bradshaw knew who the better of the two
were. Bradshaw took the mic and told Farooq "I can out drink and out fight you."
They exchanged a few more pleasantries and then began fighting. Mankind showed
up. Each time one of the Acolytes was sent to the floor, they were put back in,
but not until pounded a bit by the Lumberjacks. They hit each other with several
power moves and were really going at each other when other CM members, The
Bossman, Viscera and Midian came to the ring. Bossman acted as a mediator and
after a few moments, all took off leaving Visera alone in the ring. Whether
intentional or not, the Lumberjacks decided to try out their Acme 2x4's on him.
They pounded his fat @$$ for a while.
Winner - None Announced - Bradshaw and Farooq left to share a Cappuccino Mocha
and make nice

We saw The Geriatric Stooges, Paterson and Briscoe, on their way to the ring.
They were boasting about all their victories, going back to Paterson helping
David defeat Goliath in A Loser Leaves The Holy Land, Small Man / Big Man Match.

The next match was a tag team event pitting MSP, Rodney and Pete Gas, v. The
Geriatric Stooges, in a rematch from last week. Prior to the match we saw a clip
from last weeks match, won by The Geriatric Stooges, who kicked MSP's gold
plated @$$es back to their favorite Starbuck's in Greenwich, Connecticut. The
Stooges were wearing Acme Motorcycle Helmets as they made their way their way to
the ring. I am a Real American played as they came out. Yikes, Batman, its 1989
again! In a display of rather poor sportsmanship that could get them barred from
the Greenwich Country Club, Rodney and Pete attacked the two fossils on the
ramp. They put Paterson bEddie -bye on the floor and dragged Briscoe's' wrinkled
bod into the ring and committed Geriatric Abuse on him. Paterson finally woke up
(must have been Pudding Time) and limped into the ring. He used his helmet to
good advantage and took command. Briscoe applied a Figure Four and Paterson a
Boston Crab and got double submissions. We waved tata to MSP. After the match,
Paterson took his shirt off (it was not a pretty sight) and did the old Hulk
Hogan "ear to the crowd routine." The crowd loved it. That's two weeks in a row
that the old guys got cheers. Will miracles never cease?
Winners - The Geriatric Fossils
Losers - MSP - Their @$$es are history - They will not be missed

We again visited The Michael Cole Show backstage. This time his guest The
World's Most Dangerous Man, as well as The World's Craziest Man, Nutso. Cole
asked him about his match v. Chyna. Nutso said he was brought up never to hit a
woman and didn't know what to do. He talked about his childhood in a home and
the values he was brought up with. There wasn't a dry eye in sight.

The next match pitted Val Venis v. JJ, accompanied by Debra, her Ladies
Championship Belt, and her "Puppies." JJ came to the ring first and imitated Val
with a "Hello, Ladies," adding that Val was PO'd, but so was he. Val wasn't all
that enthused about it as he stormed in and was all other JJ in the ring and out
on the floor. The crowd chanted "We want Puppies." They did so thru most of the
match. Debra feigned flashing them. The King did his "Dog Lover Routine." JJ
came back and took control of the match, then both came close to getting a pin.
Val hit a Side Russian Leg Sweep that brought Debra up on the apron, where she
opened her jacket, letting The Puppies breathe. She removed the jacket entirely
and the crowd panted in anticipation. Val went up to deliver The Money Shot but
when he spotted The Puppies getting some air, went over and laid a big wet one
on Debra. She slapped him and JJ cold cocked (no pun intended) him with Debra's
Belt. JJ covered Val and Debra put The Puppies back in their house. The love
match between Debra and Val looks like it was a set up all along. Val will have
to find a new costar for his next video.
Winner - JJ
Winners - The fans - Got a little view of The Puppies
Losers - The fans - Didn't get to see all of The Puppies

We saw Chyna and Nutso on their way to the ring.

We saw another Cleavage home video. This time poor Beaver Cleavage had a cut on
his knee and Mommy Cleavage was tending to it. The Beaver said "When it comes to
working on your knees, my mom is the expert." Maybe Val won't have to look too
far after all.

The next match was Nutso v. Chyna. The World's Most Dangerous Man v. The World's
Most Dangerous Woman. Though barred from the ring by HBK, Triple H accompanied Chyna.
Prior to the match we saw a clip from last week of the match between Nutso and
Triple H, with Chyna as Special Guest Referee. Triple H won with help from Ms. Sweetness
and Light with The Pedigree. Nutso came to the ring and told the referee he
didn't want to fight a woman. Chyna took exception to his "backing down" and
shoved him and slapped him across the face twice. Triple H got in Nutso's face also.
Saying that's all I can stand, I can't stands no more, Nutso got tired of it and
grabbed Chyna by the throat. Triple H jumped Nutso from behind to try and get him to
release his lady love. Chyna shoved the referee out of the way and went after
Nutso. Wrong move! Nutso nailed her with a belly-to-belly suplex and left the
ring pondering the whole male / female thing.
The match never took place

We saw The Rock, SCSA and McMahon, as well as HBK on their way to the ring.

The next match was a Six Man Tag Team Event pitting CM Members The 'Taker, Triple H
and Shane v. The Rock, SCSA and McMahon, with HBK as Special Guest Referee. HBK
came out first, followed by The CM. Shane instructed Chyna to keep an eye on HBK
during the match. The crowd chanted "@$$hole" at Shane. McMahon came down the
ramp first for his team, followed by The Rock, who got a major pop. Triple H went out
and attacked McMahon as he approached the ring. He threw him in to The 'Taker,
who wiped him out with a Chokeslam and a Tombstone Pile Driver. McMahon was
dragged out to the floor where he had TV Cables wrapped around his throat. Triple H
and The Rock fought on the ramp. SCSA came out to a tremendous pop and went at
it with The 'Taker. Triple H and The Rock went at it. Shane took a shot from The
People's Cast and was knocked silly. The action was fast and furious in the
ring, at ringside and out into the crowd. A chant of "Rocky" went up. SCSA sent
Triple H hard into a turn buckle and The Rock caught him with The Rock Bottom as he
staggered in the ring. Shane and DOD got back into things and fought in the
ring. SCSA nailed Shane with a Stunner and DOD covered him. SCSA pulled DOD off
of Shane and hit him with another Stunner and covered him himself to gain the
victory. SCSA and HBK opened a few Steveweisers and downed them. The crowd loved
it.
Winners - The Rock, SCSA and Dear Old Dad
Loser - Shane - Took two Stunners

Another outstanding show by the WWF. It should also silence a lot of the critics
who have been complaining about the lack of actual wrestling.
===========================================
The staff of The Wrestling Booking Sheet
Editor: Steve Appy
Columnist: Mark George
Columnist: SamJerry
Columnist: Fritz Capp
Columnist: Rick Phelps
Columnist: Cindy Barnes
Columnist: Josh Hewitt
Columnist: Swami
Columnist: Tom Misnik
Columnist: Nate Pelley
Columnist: Robert Troy (Osiris)
Columnist:
Tom Kirkbride
Columnist: Ryan S. Oaks
Columnist: Darren Kramer

Any submissions sent in by readers or columnists become the property of The Wrestling Booking Sheet, and are subject to editing due to grammar, spelling, or content. Any information taken from The Wrestling Booking Sheet must be credited properly, with our E-Mail address listed. We have no problem if you want to use our stuff; just credit it properly.

Copyright- Steve Appy of The Wrestling Booking Sheet ©1998, 1999, 2000

 

"When you're young and you pick up a guitar, it feels so powerful. It feels like you pulled the sword from the stone. I used to believe that it could save the world. But I don't really believe that anymore." - Bruce Springsteen

"The greatest challenge of adulthood is holding on to your idealism
after you lose your innocence and believing in the power of the human
spirit after you come crashing into the limits of the real adult
world." - Bruce Springsteen

 

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