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Vandy! (September 1996)

 

Beer!  (February 2006)

Issue # 270

Date:  Sunday July 25th, 1999  9:53 am

The Wrestling Booking Sheet

ROUNDING THE SQUARED CIRCLE
FULLY LOADED -
JULY 25,1999 - PREDICTIONS
BY SAMJERRY

Visit my Home Page: http://members.aol.com/SamJerry

WWF Hardcore Champion Al Snow, with Head, v. The Big Bossman - I think
there is an obscure rule in the WWF Official Rule Book For PPV's that
states:
"Each PPV shall contain 10 Matches." Why else would they foist this
match off on us? We saw these two almost meet on RAW this past Monday
Night. In that non-match, Head watched as best she could considering
the Railroad Spike that
Prince Albert drove into her "head." Snow
insisted that Bossy beat the crap out of him and got his wish. Wait a
minute. The Mad Tattoo Artist 'Spiked' Head and Snow is facing Le
BossMale? Oh well, said crazy person probably can't tell the difference
between a Prince and a Prison Guard anyway. Snow will return the favor
and give The BossPerson a little Head, and maybe a bit of The Spike and
walk away, Head held high.

Test v. Joey Abs, Mean Street Pussy (MSP) Member - Who among us can
resist a Battle L'Amour? Test is fighting for the hand (and maybe a few
other body parts) of his true love, Daddy's Little Girl, Stephanie.
Test has had his @$$ kicked by Shane and his MSP buds more times than
his daddy has "guaranteed" things. Tonight is get even night. Test will
teach Joey that his friendship with Shane and his money can't buy him
happiness. If the other Pussies show up, they will get a similar
lesson. Test might even be smart enough to bring some of his Motley
Crue friends to watch his back. That ought to impress Daddy and
Brother. Joey will be sent back to
Greenwich neatly gift wrapped.

The World's Most Dangerous Man v. The Lethal Weapon in a Parking Lot,
Circle of Cars, Headlights On Match - This past Monday Shamrock brought
a baseball bat to the ring, Blackman brought a load of nasty looking
martial arts weapons. If Shamrock wasn't planning to return to the
Ultimate Fighting World and Blackman wasn't in the middle of a push,
Shamrock would rip the bumper off a 1998 Lincoln Town Car that will be
part of the ring and shove it up Blackman's @$$ .. sideways. Alas, he
wants to return to see if he still has the killer instinct needed in
Ultimate Fighting and that means Blackman's push continues. Look for
Blackman to use one of the toys in his bag to win the match. I
understand that Allstate and State Farm Insurance Companies have
notified their clients that any damage incurred to the cars used for
The Circle will be considered under the Act of War Clause and wont be
covered, however, they will provide coverage to transport any that are
totaled to the nearest junkyard. My contact in the area tells me the
nearest junkyard is owned by The Briscoe Brothers Auto Repair Empire.
Nothing escapes the long arm of the WWF.

European Championship Match Mideon (C) v. D-Lo Brown (Ex-C) - Mideon
won the Title in an epic battle with Shane's carry case, pinning it
after a Slop Drop, or some similar move. D-Lo proudly carried the Title
as a Citizen of Europe.
Europe, Arkansas, that is. D-Lo will win back
this most coveted belt and restore it to its proper place in the scheme
of things .. above whale sh*t on the ocean floor and just below a kelp
bed. All hail the new Champion. Uneasy lies the head that wears the
crown. Everyone will be shooting for you D-Lo. You will have to learn
to sleep with one eye open, or at least not on park benches.

Tag Team Match for Rights to DX, pitting Road Dogg and X-Pac v. Mr. @$$
and The Ninth Wonder of the World, Chyna - Quick: Which of these four
has the highest Testosterone Level? Nah, she finished second. Talk
about a battle for honor. Talk about a battle for Truth, Justice and
the
American Way. Talk about a battle for Money! The match will end as
most that Chyna is involved in, either as a participant or at ringside,
with a well placed blow to the place mothers tell their daughters to
kick him if a guy goes for the gold. Either The Bi*tch will get Doggie
and neuter him, or X-Pac and turn his Bronco Buster into a Mare
Mounter. Mr. @$$ will then use The Fame@$$er to win the match and the
rights. Fear not. Somewhere down the line we will find out that the
split in DX was all a well camouflaged plot to get McMahon and they
will reunite and all will be well in
DXville.

Intercontinental Championship Match pitting JJ (C) , with Debra and The
Puppies v, Edge - Have you noticed that JJ has been taunting Stone Cold
Steve Austin (SCSA) lately? Saying SCSA will never get his Belt.
Suppose it means they will be feuding in the near future? Like right
after Fully Loaded. Might be a clue to the Main Event in here. Edge
will eventually become Intercontinental and probably WWF Champion, but
not tonight. He may walk away with something even better, The Puppies.
The WWF wants to turn JJ into a major heel. He has been harder to get
over than Slobo would be to the Kosovar Albanians. What better way than
to involve him with SCSA? Debra and The Puppies bring him some face
heat and have to leave. Edge wont leave empty handed. In fact, he will
leave with both hands full. He will take sole possession of The
Puppies. He will be happy. Debra will be happy. The Puppies will be
happy. If Debra agrees to a Playboy shoot, The King will be happy. The
fans will be happy. Debra's broker will be happy.

WWF Tag Team Championship Match, No DQ, Acolyte Rules, pitting The
Hardy Boyz (C) and Nancy Drew &/or Michael P.S. Hayes v. The Acolytes,
Bradshaw and Farooq - The kids have had their moment in the spotlight,
and they will have many more. Just not tonight. All their speed and
skill, and Nancy &/or Michael's help wont help. Nancy &/or Michael will
be neutralized and then The Acolytes will do what they do best: mug a
pair of innocent kids. Unless they are restrained, The Acolytes will
make Matt a permanent part of the ring steps and Jeff an ornament on
the concession stand. What the Champions don't know is that Acolyte
Rules means No Rules. It is possible that Farooq will tear the head off
the referee and Bradshaw will eat it. They may take Hayes home as their
b*tch and housekeeper. A quiet family service will be held Monday for
The Hardy Boyz, just before the take the Titles back in a rematch on
RAW. Of course there could be monkey in the wood pile. The Dudley Boyz
could show up and kick all five of their @$$es and then do the same to
the crowd.

No. 1 Contender's Strap Match, with Triple H, along with Chyna, v. The Rock
- This will not be The Rock's finest hour. Triple H is on his way to the WWF
Championship and The Rock will be a good little company man and do his
duty to put Triple H over. Triple H will not walk away unscathed as he will have
to remove part of the strap from his roody poo candy @$$. If Triple H is in
action, can Chyna be far away? It will take Triple H, Chyna and Mr. @$$ to
get the job done and it will be in a way that allows The Rock to claim
he wasn't beat. If I were booking this PPV, I would have made it Chyna
v. The Rock. She wouldn't need anyone's help to win. Think not? Any of
you guys out there want to meet her in a bar room brawl on in the alley
behind the bar? I thought not. The Rock will be back. But fear not, a
reunion of DX in the future will make it much easier to swallow. Then
we can all yell "Suck It" at Triple H again.

The Big Show v. Kane, No DQ Match, with Special Guest Referee, The Big
Sh(o/i)t Hard@$$ Holly - The Show's little buddy could be squished
between these two small buildings. We all know Kane has been jobbing to
everyone the last couple of months. Why should tonight be any
exception? He will be a stepping stone to The Show v. Taker at the next
PPV. This match will be "Who Hits A Chokeslam First Wins." The Show
will and will win. This will be after a match that is fought on the
floor much of the time. Hardware will somehow manage to get himself
Chokeslammed and we may see another referee replace him. Show will
carry his little buddy home, much like The Skipper and Gilligan. The
difference being they knew they were lost, Hardhead is lost and doesn't
know it.

Main Event, for the WWF Championship. First Blood Rules. He who bleeds
first loses, with The Undertaker v. SCSA (C). Stipulations: Taker wins,
SCSA never again gets a Title Shot, SCSA wins, we will never see
McMahon's ugly face on TV again. Fear not, as sure as the sun will
rise, SCSA will get another (and another) title shot and McMahon will
be around to pollute the airways. This match will be brutal with each
man trying to get the other to blade first. Since getting another Title
shot is the easier way to go, The Taker will win. SCSA will go on to a
life of kicking The Puppyless JJ's sorry @$$ and Taker will get to meet
the Show. All will be happy in WWFville when a loophole or some other
slick move will allow SCSA back into the Title picture. They may find a
long forgotten Rule in the Official WWF Handbook that allows four time
champions a rematch on demand, or the Intercontinental Champion has the
right to a title match during the celebration of Tet or Ramadam. Leave
it to McMahon.

This PPV holds the promise to be one of the better ones of the year.
Let's hope the WWF doesn't blow it. For $29.95 we deserve a decent PPV.
===========================================
ADVERTISEMENTS
(Courtesy of Rick Phelps)
TNT Europe are planning to change their program schedule to bring more
variety. Some months ago WCW wrestling was removed from the digital
feed and was not shown anymore. This feed is available for European
viewers on cable. So WCW is longer available to European fans unless
you have a satellite receiver. Please e-mail
TNT Europe at
tnt.europe and ask them politely to bring back WCW on
TNT
Europe (digital feed). Thanks alot and your help is greatly
appreciated.
Regards,
David Grech

The AWeF is open for business. The AWeF is the Apocolypse Wrestling
e-Federaditon. We are looking for original wrestlers who have some
previous
experience in the world of E-Wrestling. If you are interested please
email
me at awf_extreme or go check out the site at
http://awef.cjb.net Hope to see you in the ring soon!

Looking For A Tough Match To Challenge Your RP Skills. Then Join The
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We Have Been Around For More Then 3 Years And Are Still Going Strong.
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Are you looking for a good e-fed son?? Then step into the ring against
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wrestler role playing e-fed!! If you would like to join why don't you
get your roody poo candy a$$ and e-mail us at:
wwlwrestling1 !!! Don't sing it bring it!! Bra!

Check out the UWA (Ultimate Wrestling Association). It is only for the
Best Roleplayers and not like other feds you have to go though a Power
Plant to get a contract from the UWA. Check it out at:
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The new and improved Extreme Championship Wrestling RP Fed! Thats
right,
finally an e fed based on ECW! Many of ECW's stars still open
including MANY
ECW Tag Teams!! Sign up ASAP by e mailing ECW420469
===========================================
The following column is obviously satire; not for the easily offended
or anyone with a refined sense of humor. For someone looking for a
lowbrow exchange, here you go...
KNIGHTS of the ROUNDTABLE
By: Senor Diaper (BGPapaPOOP)

Hola mi Amigos,

Once again it is me Senor Diaper and the Knights of the Roundtable.
Today we have a special installment varying from a little news and some
feedback from my guests Steve Austin, Ric Flair, Rock, and Hollywood
Hogan. But before I go on, I must clarify something. I am not Mr.
Diaper, only SENOR DIAPER. I am from a long lineage of Diapers and I
feel I deserve the respect of Senor K. Diaper, or Senor Diaper if you
must. Now then, on with the show. Arriba Arriba!!!!!!!

1) VINCE McMAHON.
Many have wanted to know my opinion of the WWF/Titan Sport mogul.
Well, simply put Senor McMahon is innovative, savvy, and full of
diarrhea!!!!

2) A DIAPER MATCH.
If Senor K. Diaper was a president of one of the 3 wrestling companies,
I would definitely incorporate a Diaper Match into a PPV. Basically, a
filthy, feces ridden diaper will hang from a strap above the ring, much
like a ladder match. The first wrestler to recover the dirty diaper
must smash the diaper along with its contents into his opponents face.
MUY STINKY!!!!! I am sure Mark Henry would love to lose a match like
this.
Booking: Hogan vs. Piper.

3) WCW's new cologne: "WCW Nitro for Men".
Senor Diaper is not at all happy with this!!! I talked with Eric
Bichoff myself and had hoped for the cologne "POOP de Diaper." It is a
quality fragrance for the wrestling aficionado. But, to my disamay,
Senor Bichoff chose the secent of a WCW employee and the contents of
what comes from Kevin Nash's mouth. Ay Ay Ay!!!!

Now, to my guests!!!

Question #1.....Who is the sexiest wrestler in the business?
AUSTIN: " You must be the stupidest son of a bitch!!! Austin isn't
into a bunch of damn sparklers and fairies!!!! Why don't you ask
twinkle toes over there?"
FLAIR: "WHOOOOOOO!!!! STEVE Oh my God AUSTIN!!! Tell you ex wife the
Nature Boy says hello!!!! Whooooo!!!!!!
HOGAN: " Brother, Big Sexy is the man."
ROCK: " You roody poo candy ass Hogan!! Listen to the Rock when he
tells you that nobody and I mean nobody is more electrifying as The
Rock! So know your damn role jobber!!!!"

Question #2.......What do you call your feces?
AUSTIN: " A Vince."
ROCK: " Do you smell what the Rock is dropping?"
FLAIR: " POOOOOOOOP!! Or POOP Mountain."
HOGAN: " Mini Me."

Well, on that disturbing revelation it is time for Senor Diaper to say
Addios Amigos. Until next time, I leave you with this quote for the
week:
" One man's feces is another man's meal." ------Ricky Ricardo.
===========================================
HOGAN THE CHAMPION
Written by reader: matt
I know this comes a little late, but I just have to say it. I am tired
of people complaining about Hulk Hogan winning the title again. This is
the mans 6th title reign in WCW. This could be his last. Critics say
that by winning the title he is holding back other people. Who is he
holding back? Nash and Savage just had it. Sid is working an angle
with Sting now. Goldberg is having injury and contract problems, and
Bret Hart is to pick it up at WW3.

The fans still love to see Hogan do his stuff in the ring. From my 52
year old father to my 9 year old cousin, they both loved it when Hogan
took Madusa and Miss Madness and threw them together. And this shows:
the Hogan/Savage match did a 4.7 quarter hour rating with a 4.5
overrun. That is the highest rated segment Nitro had that night.

Now the match did not have that many moves (3 total I think) but people
still love it
when Hogan hulks up and does stuff like he does. As for the run in,
that was needed. Hogan just got done with surgery and should have not
been wrestling. You can see the bulge where he has the knee brace on.
There was no way that Hogan could have performed that Leg Drop at the
end. Now that sets up an angle with Sid and Sting and Nash and Hogan
for the next Nitro.

In conclusion, I think it was a good move to make Hogan champion. Just
seeing the look on his face after he made the pin and the ref gave him
the belt was classic. Though many may argue he is burying younger
talent right now, there is no one else that can take the belt at this
time. Do you honestly think wrestling fans that watch it for a fad
that root for Austin, Rock, Goldberg are going to accept Chris Benoit
with the Heavyweight title?

Steve Appy responds:
Its true that WCW doesn't have anybody groomed to be an effective world
champion. With Hart & Goldberg still out of action and Flair's
character warped, the list of "Franchise" stars is pretty slim.

I do disagree with your dismissal of Chris Benoit, though. Fans react
to Benoit in a way the booking never really warranted; they find him
credible, and his potential to be the kick-ass Wolverine is very real.
Of course, beating a top star once in a while would help that
perception.

Interviews are his weak point, but I feel that some steady mic time
could solve that problem. All of the great promo guys in the business
developed that ability only after being given LOTS OF EXPOSURE; Steve
Austin and Shane Douglas were mediocre interviews in WCW. A little
tutoring by Arn Anderson could go a long way towards developing a
focused character, and I hope we will someday see if my hunch is right.
===========================================
A CLOSE ENCOUNTER
Written by reader: Metalheadg
Saturday July 17th was the best day of my life! I met the one the
only, my t-r-u-e,
d-o- double g, the Road Dogg Jesse James! He was soooo nice and he
looked even better in person! And he said I was CUTE!!! I was bowing
and I was like "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!" and he bowed back to
me "you are worthy! you are worthy!". I was like "oh my god I love you!
You are so gorgeous!!"

Steve Appy responds:
I fear I would have the same reaction if I met Tammy Sytch or Torrie
Wilson. I guess guys and girls really aren't all that different...
===========================================
HARDCORE?
Written by reader: ChicagoM0B
One thing that can be disputed is the definition of hardcore. In my
opinion, most of the stuff labeled "hardcore wrestling" isn't. its
"garbage wrestling." Although I have the highest respect for all
wrestlers regardless of style, I just disagree with the labeling of the
style. To me, guys like Benoit and all the other wrestler wrestlers
are
"hardcore wrestlers." Guys who take it to the mat and such. As much
as I like the garbage style, I've just always loved technical stuff (or
even when a Benoit or Finley brawl, its without all the gimmicks;
well, not so much Finley anymore, but you get the point, if I'm making
any sense).

Steve Appy responds:
A good point, the definition of "hardcore" has become warped. While
some of the "garbage style" wrestlers are also "hardcore" (Mick Foley
and Terry Funk spring to mind), many of the extreme athletes never
bothered learning the psychology of a match. Although it would be
impossible to come up with a universally accepted definition of
"hardcore", here's my attempt:

A "hardcore" wrestler combines the best aspects of athleticism and ring
psychology
into a presentation that tells a compelling story. The "hardcore"
wrestler has pride in his or her craft, and shows professionalism both
in and out of the ring. The "hardcore" wrestler constantly adapts
their style to tell the most compelling story possible.

A flimsy definition, and maybe not very effective. On a side note,
neither myself or
ChicagoM0B created the term "garbage wrestling". The high spot
brawling that symbolizes "garbage wrestling" can be very effective when
used properly, and certainly can show courage (just look at poor Balls
Mahoney). At the same time, I feel that Chris Benoit has become the
most effective brawler in the business, mainly due to his realistic
looking offense. Benoit can tell a story without receiving dangerous
chair shots to the brain...
===========================================
The staff of The Wrestling Booking Sheet
Editor: Steve Appy
Columnist: Mark George
Columnist: SamJerry
Columnist: Fritz Capp
Columnist: Rick Phelps
Columnist: Cindy Barnes
Columnist: Josh Hewitt
Columnist: Swami
Columnist: Tom Misnik
Columnist: Nate Pelley
Columnist: Robert Troy (Osiris)
Columnist:
Tom Kirkbride
Columnist: Ryan S. Oaks
Columnist: Darren Kramer

Any submissions sent in by readers or columnists become the property of The Wrestling Booking Sheet, and are subject to editing due to grammar, spelling, or content. Any information taken from The Wrestling Booking Sheet must be credited properly, with our E-Mail address listed. We have no problem if you want to use our stuff; just credit it properly.

Copyright- Steve Appy of The Wrestling Booking Sheet ©1998, 1999, 2000

 

"When you're young and you pick up a guitar, it feels so powerful. It feels like you pulled the sword from the stone. I used to believe that it could save the world. But I don't really believe that anymore." - Bruce Springsteen

"The greatest challenge of adulthood is holding on to your idealism
after you lose your innocence and believing in the power of the human
spirit after you come crashing into the limits of the real adult
world." - Bruce Springsteen

 

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